BetterWrittenThanSpoken

2011-12-22T21:01:00.002+08:00

Okay so I'm done watching Autumn's Concerto today.

I printed-screen Vanness' smile from the drama.

Though he never knew about my existence,

he managed to make me smile just by smiling in the drama.

A smile that I'd die for.

=')

I feel more like crying whenever he smile actually.

I really hate it when something has to end.

I do know that it was merely a drama but sometimes, it feels good to be able to live in your dreams and imaginations.

And for the past three days, I have lived in a very blissful dream.

You know, sometimes I just have to be childish to feel happy.

The world becomes less complicated and everything seems to offer more hope when thoughts are simplified.

If I had a choice, I wouldn't wanna grow up.

In the period of my aunt's absence, I find myself being able to handle this home better than when she was around.

I used to do the housework out of hatred, but now I can do it out of love.

For who, for what, I do not know.

Not to forget, my cooking skill has certainly improved!

My neighbour Rachel has been over for lunch for three days, and we've never enjoyed my cooking this much before.

This time I know that I put my heart,my effort and my love into the food that I cook.

Not like its super- delicious, but at least, and finally, I came up with something presentable.

And I, slowly but gradually began to believe that this world is actually not as bad as I've seen it.

Honestly, I don't know whether I have really managed to think positively.

but I guess its okay.

I'm staying strong for friends that I've promised to be.

Friends who needs a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on.

Sheeeshhh!

I should really stop before I start crying.

and guys, please please please REMEMBER to come to

CITY HARVEST CHURCH PENANG

tomorrow at 8pm!

I'd love to see you guys there!

Loves.

2011-12-20T23:09:00.002+08:00

I just realized that today is already the 20th of December!

Christmas is only five days away!

I probably lost track of time because this year,

I'm not celebrating Christmas at KL with the rest of the family.

Anyways guys,

City Harvest Church Penang will be having a drama titled " Long Men Ke Zhan" for Christmas this year and all are welcome to experience our warmth and happiness!

Christmas services will be on the 23rd of December at 8pm,

24th of December at 5pm and 8pm!!!

You guys gotta come!

If you don't then don't blame me har if you guys missed the fun!
besides, our normal services by Pastor Saras already set us rockin' everytime, Christmas is gonna be waaaaay awesomer than the awesomest!!!!

guys guys guys,

Christmas is not about a big fat guy in white beard and red suit giving out presents.

Santa doesn't exist.

If he does he's prolly a pedophile.

Joking lol.

Christmas is about us celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ some long time ago and remembering what He has done for us.

I feel closer to our Savior during Christmas.

JUST COME!

You will never know how great God is until you feel it for yourself!

Right here at CHCPG I watched how people has changed, how lives were saved and how we found our home.
Its time to make your decision.

DON"T MISS IT!

Anyone who needs transport can contact me and we will arrange for you!

Hope to see you guys there!

Loves.

2011-12-20T22:07:00.001+08:00

Hello peepers!

Have you guys watched Autumn's Concerto (下一站,幸福) ?!

I wanted to watch it since forever but I didn't really make an effort to before this.

The topic was brought up when I was talking to Stephanie over dinner.

She said it was nice and posted a link on my wall.

Been watching it for two days now.

There were a few sad parts in the first six episodes but I didn't cry and was seriously very worried because I'm very scared that I will become heartless.

And all I thought was, when are they ever gonna stop kissing?!

I mean, I know that Vanness Wu is hot,

(never knew that he's actually THIS hot!)

but there's no need for them to keep kissing in the drama right!

>:(

lol anyways, I really cannot tahan watching this type of dramas you know?

they make me think that fairytales do exist.

and we all know that these romantic and touching scenes only happen in movies and dramas lah.

anyways, Vanness has a cute smile!

its so sweet yet heartbreaking..

he's so cute!

LOL!

I started crying at episode 7!

and every episode after that.

Cried the most today at the part when Xiao Le ran after Guang Xi's car when he was leaving Hua Tian VIllage.

='((((

I was just wondering, if you guys were in Mu Chang's position,

would you leave your loved one and get misunderstood by everyone just to save him?

Would you explain to him that it was for his own good?

How much would you sacrifice for the person that you love?

How far would you go for them?

2011-12-07T20:03:00.004+08:00

Hello peepsters!!!

How's everyone?

Lol I haven't blogged for months!

Life has been changing tremendously since I started attending church again.

at least, now I found what I've lost few months back, my family of friends.

I still have other groups of mates,of course.

They taught me how to grow up, and how not to cry over lil things.

I believe that through them, I too learned how to be stronger.

On the 4th of October my brother called me from KL and told me that my God-daddy has been diagnosed with cancer and that he was in a critical condition.(He was the husband of my mother's eldest sister and they have taken me as their God-daughter because they only have three sons and no daughter) Aunt was in KL with bro and at that point of time, being alone at home, I started sobbing uncontrollably.

I started praying, pleading and begging God and whatever other deities that I could think of, hoping that they will sustain the life of my God-daddy.

We never knew that he had cancer! Earlier reports of the blood tests showed nothing wrong with him at all!

Later at night dad brought me to the hospital to see him.

There lying on the bed, was the God-daddy that I was once close to. He was sleeping, but the sight of him alive and breathing only because he was supported by the machine breaks my heart. The image of all the oxygen tubes and whatever else reminds me of my mum, and also myself in the ICU room when I attempted suicide in Secondary Two.

"Kay-pa.."

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"I came to see you.."

"Hmm.." he answered weakly and went back to sleep.

For some reason, I felt like this was gonna be the last time that I will ever get to call him.

Tears formed in my eyes, and my god-brother quickly dragged me away.

I knew.

I knew that he was gonna leave us, but my heart held on tightly onto the hope that he will get to live longer than expected.

Before I left the hospital, I told God-mama to call me if there's anything.

"NOTHING WILL HAPPEN LA!"

She snapped.

I wanted to burst out crying at that moment, because God-mama is obviously denying fate.

The next day, my heart shivered whenever my cellphone or the house phone rings.

I was afraid of losing another loved one. Hearing no news, I was relieved.

On the night of October 6th year 2011.

I was online as usual when suddenly dad called me over to the living room.

"Your kay-pa no more.."

"Oh.." was all I could say.

Numbness was all I felt.

Calm was all I was.

When I got to Butterworth for the funeral on the 8th of October,

I had to kneel down and crawl into the hall in front of the coffin.

And then I burst.

"Kay-pa..*a long pause because I couldn't go on* 我回来了..(I am back)"

God-bro and God-mama pulled me away because I was crying a lil too hard.

"Ah Mei, mai hao.. (don't cry, lil sis)" was all that I heard.

That was the last time I cried at the funeral.

for the rest of the remaining days. including the day that we sent him off,

I didn't shed a single tear.

I thought I was ruthless.

A rude auntie made a remark saying that God-daddy's beloved God-daughter doesn't know how to cry.

I was hurt.

Does she know that I was crying deep inside?

No she doesn't.

I knew that God-mama was very sad too.

But she put a brave mask on and so did I.

The God-daddy that I just saw smiling just a few months back has gone back to be reunited with Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle and Mum.

I find comfort thinking that someday we will meet each other again.

However hard life is gonna be in future, I will never wanna give up because I hate the feeling of losing someone that I love, and I don't want people who loves me to lose me.

Guys, life is indeed short.

We might be breathing this moment, but we don't know whether we will still be the next.

Lets all love and appreciate people around us.

Its really hard for me to give up on people because deep in my heart, there's still hope and I believe that however bad a person might be,

a part of them, hidden away somewhere deep inside,

they still have some sincerity.

All it takes is just for the one right person to come along and to reveal it.

Special thanks to Chubi for making my day yesterday.

You gave me hope once again.

I'm happy that my sincerity and perseverance brought you back.

Thank you.

And Vin 哥哥, I did not give up on you and never will because I believe that you do have some conscience in you.

I hope that someday you will find your true self back again.
S2, though you didn't say it, I think I know why you talked to me. Thank you for keeping your promise. I thought you weren't there when I needed you most, but you were. I missed you..
=')

As for those that I didn't mention up there,

I still love you guys loads!

Be happy!

And thanks for reading!

=')

2011-07-16T21:55:00.002+08:00

I can't believe that I'm home for the whole day!

I'm supposed to be at Bon Odori with Rupster or Chubi!

=(((((((

Yesterday was beautiful...

I mean, nothing much happened but it was a gift from God.

Its funny how thankful I can be for something so little.

Chubiiii is so cute!!!!!

Anyways,after I was done cleaning the house this morning, I watched

Fly me to Polaris

again for the 24th time this year!
And still cry.

My sissy Melody and I used to burst out crying like cows when we watched it together.

This movie is very very touching!

If you guys have never watched this I suggest you do it when you need to cry.
Lol.

Here's a review by Shelly Kraicer, March 2, 2000.

First, a bit of plot. Fly Me to Polaris is a fantasy youth romance, in which blind and mute Onion (Richie Ren) and young romantic nurse Autumn (Cecilia Cheung Pak-chi) fall in love without quite knowing it. Onion is quickly killed off in an accident. In a way-station on the path to heaven, an angel (Eric Kot) allows Ren five more days on Earth, with a catch: Ren will be able to see and speak, but he will be unrecognizable to everyone around him, and he is forbidden from revealing who he is. Returning to witness his own funeral, Ren finds Autumn in her grief, and tries to console her while recreating the love that they had never managed to express. Magically romantic things transpire with the aid of saxophones and meteor showers.

Here are some of the scenes from the movie.

Googled the pictures.

The final night before he returns to Polaris.

It is such a heartbreaking romance..

Moving on, I spent some time with my lil Nostalgia and cut my finger while playing with her.

I didn't know how it happened.
It got cut at the wrong position of the wrong finger.

Ray told me that a friend used to run to her boyfriend whenever she cuts her fingers while playing the guitar.

I got no "baby" to run to.

its okay, because according to bro soon yip, 一个人也可以好好的..

when I scribbled that on a paper Chubi tembak-ed me with 不过两个人会更好..

=.=

so mempersaddeningkan.

LOL

Cute people like Chubi never fails to put a smile on my face.

After that I turned the TV on and watched "孩子"(Hai Zi)..

So touching!

How blind I was to have never seen the beauty of life.

I'm loving every single second that I live and every breath that I breathe.

Though every meeting has a parting, people come and go..

What mattered was the time spent and the memories we had.

Imma end this post with lyrics of an (quite) old song that describes how I've been feeling all this while.

洋葱

(Onion)

如果你眼神能够为我片刻的降临
If only, your vision would look upon me
如果你能听到心碎的声音
If only, you could hear the sounds of a heart break
沉默的守护着你沉默的等奇迹
Silently watching over you, silently waiting for a miracle
沉默的让自己像是空气
Silently letting myself, be like air
大家都吃着聊着笑着今晚多开心
Everyone’s eating, talking, laughing, tonite is such a joy
最角落里的我笑得多合群
The cornermost me, is laughing together with the rest
盘底的洋葱像我永远是调味品
The onions at the bottom of the plate are just like me, forever the flavouring
偷偷的看着你偷偷的隐藏着自己
Secretly watching you, secretly hiding myself

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
If you are willing to peel open my heart, layer by layer by layer
你会发现你会讶异
You will discover, you will be shocked
你是我最压抑最深处的秘密
You are my most suppressed, deepest secret
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
If you are willing to peel open my heart, layer by layer by layer
你会鼻酸你会流泪
Your nose will run, you will tear
只要你能听到我看到我的全心全意
If only you can hear me, see my wholeheartedness

　
听你说你和你的他们暧昧的空气
Hearing you talk about you and your many others and the blossoming love
我和我的绝望装得很风趣
Me and my hopelessness act very amused
我就像一颗洋葱永远是配角戏
I’m just like an onion, forever just the supporting actor
多希望能与你有一秒专属的剧情
How i wish to have with you, a second of our own story

Got the lyrics from LyricsMode.

Have fun guys!

Loves.

2011-07-13T23:42:00.003+08:00

GUYS!!!!
I'm still here!!!!
LOL.
How is everyone?
=DDD
I've been hyper lately.
Been hanging out with Rachel, Zed and Ying after work almost everyday!
They brought noise into my ears and parties into my soul.
I'm almost a party animal now.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mean the drinking and clubbing type of parties.

hanging around, making some noise and getting home before 11pm.

That's all we do.

The best part is, Zeddy has got her "P" and a car!

Through this, I find happiness because people at home can and will never understand how a teenager's life is supposed to be.

I don't wanna live a life full of regrets.

At least, not anymore!

And now, instead of watching the pouring rain and asking God why,

I learned to look forward to the sun that shines after the rain.

Slowly I began to see the beauty of life.

(Sorry I'm still long-winded.)

When I was 14, I was craaaaazy over guitars and I think that all guitarists are cool!

I wanted one so bad that I saved up my pocket-money just to get one.

I told my aunt about it and till today I remembered what she said CLEARLY!

"All you know how to do is to spend money! You cant even earn and you're already planning to waste your father's inheritance! Talk to me again when you can feed your dad!" She snapped.

Since then, I vowed that I will earn money and when I'm able to give my dad some extra pocket-money, I'll get what I want. At least it'll be worth it because I didn't give up on it.

THE DAY WAS FINALLY HERE!

We went to the shop few weeks back after work but it was closed.

So again and again we postponed until today when Ray, Zed and Ying abducted me from work during lunch.

I took a half-day leave because I had to last week and I was required to take again this week to make it balanced.

My heart hammered away on the way there.

I went into the shop and a black guitar caught my eye.

ahhh!

made that lady tune it and TADAAAAAA!

My black beauty was named Nostalgia!

I named her long time ago actually.

Haha.

I was like, FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=DDDDDD

I knew that aunt was gonna scold me(yes she did!) but this time she can't do anything anymore!

So after we got my guitar we went to Queensbay.

For what reason, I still dunno.

Haha.

Rachel and I vained ALL THE WAY there.

Me: omg I have like, 20kg bags under my eyes!

Ray:are you sure they're twenty kgs?
LMAOOOO

Ray couldn't stop vaining.

LOL

We got to Queens and did a lil shopping,

bought a lil bit of this and that.

That was all.

On the way back we vained in the car again.

Ray, Ying and I were busy taking pics of ourselves.

And many other pics somewhere else.

LOL

Zed was not in the pics because she was busy...

...SLEEPING!

Haha!

We dropped Ray at her church and went to Midlands because Zed has to buy shoes for college.

After that, went to Ying's house to re-tune my Nostalgia.

Took pics of her.

She's black, I hope you guys aint racist.

Nostalgia

So yeah! Today ended happily ever after!

Thanks Ray, Zed and Ying!

To the others, I love you guys loads too!

Stay awesome!

*being happy doesn't mean that I have already forgotten about you, its just that I found a better way to love you...*

2011-06-03T21:51:00.001+08:00

Hello guys!

Is everyone still breathing?

Did anyone miss me?

I actually forgotten about blogging!

So yeahh here I am to update you guys about what I've been doing in the period of my disappearance.

3rd of May 2011.

I was at work as usual when Pow Ling kept persuading me to follow her to KL for her interview to enter UM.

I told her that I would like to go with her a week before but since my dad and aunt said no I kept myself silent.

Pow Ling was disappointed and at last she came to my house during lunch break and assured my aunt that I'll be safe with her. Aunt had to let me.

came back to pack and followed PL back to her house coz we were gonna go early in the morning.

4th of May 2011.

A friend of Pow Ling's mother and his wife came to pick us up at about 10am.

forgotten what happened on the way because I was busy sleeping. .

We did stop for lunch and all.

After that PL and I KO-ed again.

When I opened my eyes we were already somewhere in Damansara.

Got down from the car and met up with a friend of her mother's friend.

We then went to book two rooms at PJ Hilton.

Then went to check UM out.

HUGE place.

o.O

He brought us to his house while his family members were getting ready to go for dinner with us.

I no longer knew where we were.

After dinner they sent us back to the hotel.

The adults went for a drink while PL and I stayed in the room to play games.

couldn't connect to the hotel wifi.

PL and I went to a KK mart nearby. Had to wait for more than five minutes just to cross the road.

=.=

came back and asked the guy why we couldn't connect.

He said that there are additional charges unless we sit at the lobby.

WTH?

went back to the room and played the Sims 3. PL slept earlier than me.

I went to sleep too at about 12am.

In the midst of sleeping I heard the door bell rang and PL's mother asking us to open the door.

Half-asleep, I went to open the door and I forgotten what happened, again.

5th-6th of May 2011

woke up early, packed and set off to UM.

got there, met a guy named Chun Kit who is also from Penang.

*so many chunkits in my life*

Then met Hui Theng. She is our colleague and she already decided to not go.

Hers was really last minute.

The office was left with only ONE TA which is the guy.

Orientation week lagi.

Hahaha.

Then we went for lunch at Old Town.

Took some pics while we were waiting for another lady.

Taken and edited by PL

PL's mum and the wife of that uncle.

The uncle.

ALL pics above taken by yours truly and edited by Pow Ling.

(except the first pic)

We went to Genting soon after.

Took pics on the way.

Got there and left the room soon as we changed into something comfortable.

Bought tickets to both outdoor and indoor theme park.

the first thing I remember about Genting outdoor theme park was a huge mushroom.

Then we went for all sorta rides and all that.

I remember The Cyclone most because I almost flew off.

more pics below.

FAKER!
=X

I've never been on a cable car and imagine how terrified I was going down in it.

then went for lunch and to Cameron.

car-sick all the way up.

Slept all the way down.

Chubi texted me while we were having dinner.

spent another night at Pow Ling's house.

Got home the next morning.

Days flew by.

My routine was only filled with work and meetings.

I'm probably too immune to them now.

On the 27th to the 29th of May we had our first conference in Penang.

IT WAS BREATHTAKING!

Learnt loads of things from there.

Thanks to all my fellow leaders and friends for helping me through.

Have fun guys!

Loves.

2011-05-01T23:56:00.018+08:00

Selamat Labour Day fellow Malaysians!

My beloved cell group which is S2 had an outing at Paradise Beach today.

Grace rented a room in Paradise Hotel for her birthday.

I went to Ananda's with Charlotte and Edwina after church.

Then we walked to Euodia's house which is located just few doors away from Ananda.

Not all S2 members were there yet so Alvin asked us to go to Grace's place first.

Charlotte and I went up while Edwina was somewhere else.

I saw Arthur and Grace Chuah in Grace Leong's hotel room.

LOL

Was too lazy to take pics so I took a vid instead.

After that we went down to the beach to join our cell group outing.

Paradise and Flamingo standing side by side.

Charlotte!

Joined S2's activities.

Then we got tired...

other S2 members went back to Euodia's place while the few of us went up to Grace's room.

Char,Edwina and I went up and lingered at the corridor because Grace Chuah has the keys while Grace Leong was on the jet ski.

took some pics.

More vaining when we got in.

Edwina, Me and Sandra

Edwina.Charlotte,Sandra and Grace Chuah.

Soon all our other friends came and we walked to the food court nearby for dinner.

Then only we realized that Edwina was at Ananda alone.

SO Charlotte and I walked to Ananda to walk her back to the food court.

Everyone was gonna leave and since we haven't had our dinner we went to Karaikudi.

Just the three of us.

Then we strolled back to the hotel to find only Matthias, Raymond and Grace in the room.

We were waiting for Charlotte's mum to pick us up when another Indian guy came into the room.

Edwina and I kinda got annoyed by that disturbing sight.

Charlotte and I left soon after and so did Edwina.

I do not and am not interested to know what obscene things happened after that.

So I got home safe and sound.

Looking forward for tomorrow because will be jammin' with my mates!

Nights guys!
stay AWESOME!

Loves.

2011-04-24T20:38:00.035+08:00

Guess what?

I got crazy over

JUSTIN BIEBER!

Never in my life had I thought that I'd spend RM17 to watch Justin Bieber in 3D!

And got interested.

LOL

Today was beautiful.

I woke up feeling AWESOME.

Followed Ah Kong and Angie to church.

Got to POD and saw Matthias and Vanessa.

Talked a lil until Tomo walked in.

played with his phone and stuff as usual.

service was AWESOME!

Had our

SCANDALON

in conjunction with Easter.

it was AWESOME(X) Infinity!

for those of you who did not come, you guys gotta regret.

Went lunch at SunCity as usual.

I was desperately looking for someone to hang out with because it feels like I haven't been out since forever!

I was busy breathing when Jessy said she wants to watch movie.

Tomo wanted to go too!

So we did.

I kept complaining at first coz I couldn't get over me paying RM17 for Justin Bieber's

Jessy told me that she can attack people when she gets excited.

Ended up,

I attacked Tomo and broke my nail because I was more excited than Jessy!

LOL

JB is AWESOME!
Even Tomo and Tada fell for him!
=X

I am tired coz spent my energy screaming.
XD

I see him differently now.

So yeah, thats all for tonight!

I love you guys!

STAY AWESOME JB!

2011-04-13T23:19:00.033+08:00

hmmm...

I went for blood test this morning...

and again the uncle poked my hand before he could find my tiny vein.

I let him go because I was so looking forward to hang out with my beloved family of friends after that.

On the way back dad dropped me at the bus stop opposite the market.

Today's outing was all about photo-shooting.

Our first stop was Straits Quay.

went there and vained.

We made it look like we were taking pictures for magazines or smth.

went for lunch at Secret Recipe.

Charmaine suggested that I order kid's burger because theyre as tiny and as cute as I am.

After lunch we went to find perfect spots for shots.

went for a drink.

One final pic before we left Straits Quay.

We then headed to Gurney in bus 103 which stops directly in front of Gurney Plaza.

Awesome!

vained in the bus.

got to gurney fifth floor rooftop and vained AGAIN~!

WARNING!
AWESOME shots ahead!

Ray's so "handsome!"
<3

Haha.
I love them loads!
They taught me the value of sincere friendship.
<3
Alrights.
Thats about all for now.
Take care peeps!
Loves.

2011-03-31T23:25:00.000+08:00

This was a day to be remembered.

A day that my heart has finally decided to move on.

Well, I actually didn't know.

Until earlier when I was at work and "someone" came.

I smiled. I was happy.

And then I realized that I smiled from my heart!

We did not talk much.

Before he left, he pronounced me a soft goodbye..

That was the most gentle yet painful goodbye that I've ever heard since the one I last heard from S2.

The rest of the day was okay.

We were working OT when the whole office and the whole corridor went dark.

Thank goodness it was only 7pm at that time and it was not that dark.

Jian, Tze Yang, Glenn and I went out to ask the uncle guard to help us switch the electricity back on.

Meanwhile, Jian wanted to shift his bike from one place to another so I followed him.

After parking we both went back to the office, for me to know that I've dropped my staff tag somewhere.

It has got my staff ID and the "Exhibitor" card that FooFoo gave to me!

I snatched the torchlight from the table and ran out of the office,half-crying all the way while frantically looking for the card.

I went all smiles when I found both my ID and the card.

I have not ran this hard for a long..long time..

But I was happy.

I must be crazy to run after a card.

But it means alot.

Well, I am not sure whether I have really moved on because there's still this tinge of hope that S2..

*cannot continue*

besides, I am really afraid that history will repeat itself.

What is the use of starting something if its gonna end,right?

Everything seems so impossible right now..

And this is not even a feeling that I'm sure about.

I need assurance and security, but so far no one has been able to give me that..

What do I do now..?

S2, tell me what to do..

*The pen is in my hand, its now up to me whether to start another story or to put a full stop before it begins..*

2011-03-20T23:59:00.003+08:00

Hey peeps!

Guess what?

The blogger just got older today!

=DDDD

I have left 18 behind and stepped into the world of nineteenth.

Another year older and getting more and more legal for crimes!

Just joking lah!

I'm not that crime type of a person.

I started my day feeling sleepy because the night before I waited to see who would be the first to wish me and whether it would be the person who said he would.
Texts after texts and minutes soon turned to hours, but still the text that I've been waiting for hasn't came.
It was 4.58am in the morning when I last looked at my phone and finally, I decided to get some rest.
I got up soon after that because I had to go to church.
SuiLin fetched me today because she has finally agreed to go to church with me.
PRAISE THE LORD!
The moment I open the door to POD, everyone looked at me and burst into a birthday song!
*touched*
Richie said I'm gonna kena HUGE!
We then proceeded into the sanctuary.
Worship was fun but there was this bitter feeling deep inside of me.
Mr. Balan went on stage to ray and since both Pastors are away he preached for this weekend.
He said something about a youth who cried to God every night telling Him how much it hurts to not be able to let go.
(he didn't say this exactly but its something like that lah)
And at that moment he looked at me!
I know I'm not the only one but I kinda do that.
And I always cry during Altar Call thinking of the exact same thing.
=/
I kinda wanted to stay back and celebrate my birthday together with Euodia and also my family of friends who is and was always there but I had to go with SuiLin because I know that she wants to spoend my birthday with me.
Went to I Love Yoo at Gurney for lunch.
Loves it loads.
SuiLin was gonna bring me to Han Chiang College to watch her bf in a racing competitionbut we
couldn't find the place and at last went to Queensbay as planned.
Not knowing where to go or what to do,
we walked around aimlessly.
Saw David and Caleb!
Didn't dare to kacau David because he's always looking so serious.
So I kacau-ed Caleb instead.
Just talked for merely two minutes then I decided to not disturb him working anymore.
I can't remember the order of things that we did.
Arthur called me when we were at the what house of pancakes.

I'm putting on weight coz I get good food everyday at work.
=P

Lin Lin.

He asked me whether I wanna go to redbox.
Redbox is in Gurney and QueensBay is just too far away.
Had dinner at a Japanese restaurant called Japin.

SuiLin sent me home after that.
I hurriedly come online after I had my shower to see whether S2's online.
He was not.
I sighed in disappointment.
I was thinking, as long as this day is not over, I have a hope.
So I went to play Sims in full screen.
I just quit my game because I am very tired already.
Looking at my contact's list in msn for one final time before I go offline, I saw that S2's online!
My glimmer of hope.
He wished me, and then he went offline.
I thanked him,and here I am finishing my post that I've been typing since forever.
It makes all the wait worthwhile.
=)
Have fun kay!
Loves you guys loads!
<3

Awesome peeps at a memorable timing on my birthday!(officially from 12am-before this day ends)

First text message: TanChin at 12.00am.
First phone call: Patrick at 12.04am.
First Facebook post: Shidi at 12.00am.
First Facebook message: Grace at 1.13pm.
First MSN wish: Jian Jie at 8.58pm
Last birthday call: VJ at 6smth.
Last Facebook post: Jefferson at 11.56pm
Last text: S2 at 11.42pm
Last MSN wish: S2 at 11.56pm.

2011-03-17T21:20:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna like,summarize the posts for these few days.

Last Friday was my colleague's so called last day working.

He's leaving TARC for some personal reasons.

His reason for leaving was my reason to continue working.

It was raining when we were gonna leave the office and I was reluctant to say goodbye.

He's been funny and I'm really gonna miss him..

Loads.

His cousin told me that he's gonna come back again this week to help us out.

Still, things will no longer be the same.

On Saturday I went out again with SuiLin.

We went to the nearest familiar shopping centre which is Gurney Plaza.

Couldn't go far because I had to be in church by 4pm and she has to get home by then too.

We did some window-shopping as usual.

Lin Lin

Pics taken at Food & Tea.

We were gonna go off when we went into a shop.

I was busy looking for bunnies for Rei but I couldn't find one.

I was at the edge of giving up when outta sudden something caught my eyes.

A bunny phone accessory!

=DDD

Got excited and got it instantly.

Rei's gonna like it because I love it!

I sent her an mms and she loves me.

LOOOOOOOL!

cute aint it?

Then I went to church.

I forgotten that we were gonna have the what Hollywood Day or smth and we gotta dress up.

So Euodia emo make up-ed me and a girl lend me her scarf to go with my clothes.

Here's a video.

A lil noisy and a lil too blur.

Lol.

Had service after that.

TiNee's friend said that I'm adorable!

*kembang*

After service one new guy who came to our church came and talked to me.

He said that I'm adorable too!

hahhahaa

I kinda noticed him earlier and I think he looks like another version of VJ.

Dinner at the usual food court.

Had fun talking!

TanChin and Alvin were so funny making themselves look gay.

TC and Vinny.

I brought Arthur to church on Sunday.

He went back after service.

After church all of us S2 members went to Euodia's house for our BBQ party.

S3 members came too!

I was not well so I stayed in Euodia's air-conditioned room.

felt much better after that so I went downstairs to join them.

Love them loads!

I was not in the mood to eat alot so I stayed up in Euodia's room with Isaiah,Zenita,Grace and another girl.

Since I had nothing to do I strummed Euodia's guitar and a while later TC came and took the guitar.

=((((

I wanted a guitar since few years back.

SuiLin texted me and we decided to go for dinner together.

After that, I went down to sing Alfred a few love songs for his birthday with the guitar while waiting for Lin to fetch me.

*it was crappy and pointless strumming*

We all had funn!

I love them loads.

On Monday,

a new TA came into my office.

She's kinda cute after all.

Lol

From Monday onwards my life at the office sucks because Foo has left and in came Kevin.

I was his friend before I hated him.

=.=

Nothing happened on Tuesday.

I just thought I could get hypertension and die with that shrimp working with me.

On Wednesday I kept sticking to Jian because I couldn't take Kevin's nonsense anymore.

I couldn't wait for today.

And finally,

today came.

Foo came back to help us out because Jian has to go for his licence.

And today was his official last day at work.

I missed him already!

Although at that point of time I was looking at him.

I told him that after this we will eventually forget each other.

He said that he wont forget me for some reason.

Neither will I.
I kinda wished that it was all true.

I said many things that I wanted to say but in a joking way.

At least I expressed myself.

I wish him the best in everything after this.

And I went for lunch with SuiLin.

I felt heavy before I leave the college today.

And I didn't say goodbye too.

Was afraid that I would cry..

So yea,that's all.

Have fun guys!

Though the world aint gonna end in 2012.

Loves.

2011-03-09T22:03:00.002+08:00

Hello guys!

How's life?

Can someone please come to City Harvest Church Penang with me this weekend?

We will be having our guest speaker from CHC KL on both days.

On Saturday we are going to have a light fellowship at 4pm followed by service and on Sunday we (fellow S2 members and friends) will have a party at Euodia's house which is located opposite Paradise and Flamingo so we are not having cell group after service.

DO COME!

We are gonna have so much fun!

That's what we do every weekend!

Lol

I got really pissed this morning.

I got off from work today because I had to get the fish bone that got stuck in my throat since few days back.

Dad brought me to the general clinic early in the morning.

The doctors couldn't get the bone out so they wrote me a letter and asked me to go to the hospital instead.

Dad took me to Tejani Clinic nearby to see whether the doctor could do anything.

He too,advised me to go to the hospital.

We got there about 10am and a nurse asked us to go back again at 2pm.

I erupted.

That thing in my throat was super irritating and it hurts.

Finally I got to see the doctor at 4pm.

He's a funny Singh doctor.

Cute too!

as in his behavior not his looks.

Lol

So he got a pair of forceps and tried to reach the bone with it.

He couldn't because it was kinda deep.

I forced my mouth to open super wide but still he couldn't reach it.

He even pulled my tongue!

He got a bigger pair and after a few attempts he finally succeeded to get the bone outta my throat.

Forceps

By the time I got home it was already 5pm.

I was blur in the lift.

I got into it and waited.

Then I freaked out and was gonna call someone for help because the lift didn't move.

Then I realized that I didn't press the number.

WTH.

Aunt scolded me because of the clothes that I washed.

Whole stretch black colour.

Hahaha.

Although it was a painful experience,

I enjoyed going to GH because there were so many cute nerdy doctors!!!!!

LOL!

That was all.

Remember to come to church with me this weekend!

Loves.

*I'm feeling sad in a happy way..*

2011-02-26T21:35:00.005+08:00

I went to church today.

The Hip-Hop party was a success!

Everyone had fun!!Those of you that I've invited but didn't show up,you missed the fun!

I guess I'll let this short video that I've taken describe you the atmosphere.

We had cool dancers like Kenn,Richie,Matthias,Gary, and a few sexy dancers like Rubes,Bubu,Joanne,Carmen and so forth.

Service was great too!

Never been in a church this awesome as City Harvest Church Penang!

Dinner at the food court as usual.

I was happily talking to Christian,Gary and Stephanie when suddenly work(and some nonsense) came into my mind.

We have to work everyday for the WHOLE MONTH OF MARCH because TAR College will be having open day from 4th-6th of March and 11th-27th of March.

All birthday plans cancelled.

SuiLin and I already planned our outing!

Her birthday is two days before mine.

But I guess its just another day.

I haven't really gotten over what happened three days before my birthday last year.

Only those involved will know yea?

I kinda had the so-called best birthday of my life last year.

I got an acer notebook, had great friends to celebrate with me few days before,on the day itself and family dinner just for me on the day after.

Those were outer happiness.

At that time I understood the feeling of having everything but not the happiness from within.

I guess my 18th birthday was the most memorable one.

Few years back,someone asked me why did I use "wintertears" as my email..

Because as far as I can remember, I have been crying tears that are freezing-cold,silent, and hidden from the world..

Hey!

Don't get me wrong.

I find it easier now to be happy with friends who are always there for me although I don't say it.

I thank God for the trials in my life and also for the best people that he has put to help me through.

This post is kinda short,

but its enough to express the words suppressed within.

I love you guys!

2011-02-24T21:48:00.061+08:00

I took an unpaid leave today because I had to go for my eye check-up.

My appointment was at 8am but I got there at 9am.

Malaysian time mah.

I waited for three hours and finally it was my turn.

Guess what?

Dr. Praveen was over-confident with me and he took only five minutes because he was pretty sure that I was okay.

I asked for am MC and he gave it without further questioning.

Hehe.

I went outta the examination room and saw Dr Dinesh.

I gave a loud "HI!!!" and he stopped to talk to me.

Felt kinda proud because he doesn't usually talk alot to his patients.

Haha.

I wanted to go back to work when I left the hospital since Dr Praveen has given me an MC but at dad said that I dont have to because my eyes were still a lil blur effects of those eye drops.

I then decided to go to Euodia's house because I didn't wanna go home.

She found two lil puppies few nights back.

Dad sent me home because I had to keep my medications in the refrigerator.

When I was at the guard house I saw Joshua; the former cell group leader of S2(this is NOT the person kay) which is also my cell group.

He asked me where I had been and where I was gonna go and I told him.

Then he said he'll send me to Euodia's place since he had to go back to church too.

So I followed his car.

He dropped me further up in front of Flamingo Hotel when I saw Euodia throwing dog-shit.

Hahhahahaha!

We ran across,drowning in sweat.

We proceeded upstairs to play with Nina and Nikki,her adorable pups.

Then Willy came.

Played with those puppies for a sec and we went to Ananda for lunch.

Then back to play with 'em.

This is Nina.

This,Nikki and Willy.

Haha.

The three of us went to church after that.

Aunt shouted at me when I got home and began to accuse me of something.

I felt too sick to entertain her unreasonable bullshit.

I am looking forward to go to work tomorrow!

SuiLin has planned to have dinner with me after work.

That means I dont have to get home that early.

Praise God!

=DDD

I'm gonna put a full-stop here.

Have a fitful sleep guys!

Loves.

2011-02-19T23:41:00.001+08:00

Hello people..

Hope you guys are alright..

Not gonna keep you guys updated about the bitter stories of my life because if I do,more of you are gonna walk out..

So since we don't work on weekends,my colleague SuiLin and I planned to go out.

She wanted to get a specs like mine so we went to Gurney.

She fetched me to her house before that and I found out that she lives only a few doors away from Rei-chan.

I was talking about driving when we were going down the hill and she decided to let me drive!

I agreed instantly!

*da dan =P*

And I drove all the way to Gurney.

This was the longest distance that I've ever driven.

And usually I only practice at places without cars.

That was real with moving cars!

I thought I was gonna freak out and give up halfway.

But surprisingly I turned out calmer than SuiLin was!

She was so worried!

And cute haha.

I insisted on driving up to the sixth floor to park.

And I did.

It was a good feeling when I managed to successfully park the car!

We then went somewhere and to the seventh floor for her specs.

There were too many similar-looking ones like the one I bought and she took quite some time to make her decision.

Meanwhile I was talking to an uncle nearby.

She got the one she wanted soon after.

Me and Lin Lin.

*just incase you guys didn't know my specs has got power because I sent it to the shop*

=.=

We went to "I love yoo" for lunch.

I have loved that shop since I went to the one in 1Utama.

Lin Lin at I Love Yoo.

I kinda forgotten where we went I just know that we were bored.

Gurney's like my second home.

Before we left Gurney we went to Manila Place.

Lin at Manila Place.

New Wing restroom

Then I decided to get a haircut right at that moment so Lin brought me to the shop.

I became like this.

So random and sudden!

Not used to it.

And I told Jian that I will practice flinging my hair.

I can no longer do that because my hair is kinda short now.

Apalaa...

At last I didn't go to church because I got over-emo and everyone became an eyesore to me.

Its the problem of the heart.

Here's the full stop.

You guys have fun!

Loves.

2011-02-15T22:13:00.024+08:00

Hello guys..

As you guys know today was a public holiday.

Rei and I planned to hang around in Prangin because she needed to get the clover thingy.

I got onto the bus and called her when we were gonna reach her place.

My heart screamed when I saw her.

I missed her!

=DDD

Shots taken in the bus and etc.

I sent Rei home in a bus(=P) and got to aunt's house.

Was parading the night market when it rained.

Awesomee!

I love the rain!

And I got back home happy.

I'm freaking tired so I'll let you guys off now.

Night night.

Loves.

2011-02-14T23:05:00.058+08:00

Alrights guys!

Happy Valentine's Day!

=DDD

Just like last year I still celebrate Singles Awareness Day(SAD) but this year's is more bearable.

I didn't really bother to wish anyone until they wished me.

LOL

And after disappearing for some time TerFu texted me to wish me Happy Singles Awareness Day.

He's showing off because he's got loads of girls after him at his college.

So I went to TARC as an official staff today.

I was kinda nervous because I'm afraid that I could not catch up with the work.

There are seven people in admission; four males and three females including me.

I find my colleagues funny.

Its good to have them around.

And my cell group leader Alvin barged into the office to say hi since he's studying there.

It was hilarious.

The door sounded like it was gonna break.

=DDD

I talked to one uncle and Jian says I'm cute!

Hahhaha perasan pulak.

I think I'm adapting well in this new environment.

Mr. Yap put me beside SuiLin which becomes my good friend pretty fast since she's the only girl in the office besides me.

The other lady has got her own office room.

Day One was pretty good except that I didn't see "apple juice?" around.

I came back feeling good.

Then I started emo-ing because I saw a sad video on Christian's wall.

And he introduced me to the song Utopia by Within Temptation (feat Chris Jones) and I became worse than emo.

I was gonna cry..

Then S2 suddenly talked to me in MSN.

Most of you would've known what happened to me next.

Just like the other day, I cannot go on writing anymore..

You guys have fun kay?

Happy Valentine's and I love you guys loads.

*I have discovered that I miss you even more when you talk to me..*

2011-02-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

Hello amazing peeps!

How you guys doin?

Life is hard but all will be well okay?

Don't give up at the hardest times.

I'm not saying this to whoever in particular.

Sometimes people just need some encouragement.

We had our "Love on The Rebound" sermon yesterday and today in conjunction with Valentine's Day.

It was breath-taking!

For those of you who had missed this sermon for the "Meow Hui" thingy you guys has gotta regret!

The story was inspiring,funny and sad.

I was usually one of the first few persons to cry.

Then Stephanie on my left started crying.

I was flabbergasted when I turned to my right and saw tears flowing outta Gary's eyes.

I mean,he's a guy and they don't cry easily right?

It must've touched his gentle heart.

One remarkable thing that pastor said was "Love is not a feeling,not an emotion but its a decision".

So true!

I thought alot too.

Sighh.

It made me realize that many things that I thought might be the truth are just what I want them to be.

The truth has gotta hurt more than the fairytale story I wanted.

Pastor did an outstanding job both yesterday and today!

*Actually he always does*

I saw many people surrender their burdens to God.

I saw many friends that I wanted to see which are Taylor,Christian,Alfred,Raymuelio and etc.

Glad that they came.

Got the first Valentine's gift of my life from my cell group leaders.

Today was okay too!

There were more people today.

But today so emo.

I cried before pastor got to the sad part today because I already know the sad part!

And the worst thing is,the smiling side view of that guy sitting in front looked like S2!

I was emo to the core!

But I laughed soon after.

=DDDD

This Mathias thought that Grace's boyfriend was my boyfriend!

I told him that he was Grace's.

Mathias' reaction was epic!

Hahaha!

After church I went to the studio for my first R&B dance lesson.

Then Shannen,Venita and I went to Midlands.

And today ended happily ever after.

*Lazy to write in details*

Ohhh and by the way, I officially resigned from Kumon yesterday.

I missed the laughters and anger that Adrienne and I had experienced while working.

Tomorrow I will be working at TAR College until God-knows-when.

Before I left Kumon yesterday I took a video of Little Vinnesh, the apple of my eye.

Love him!

And from tomorrow onwards I will be back into reality.

No more simplicity nor laughter of innocence.

I'm gonna end this post right here kay?

Take care people!

Loves.

*I'm afraid that I'll wake up to see another person that I love walkin outta my life*

2011-02-11T23:15:00.001+08:00

I'm not really in the mood to blog,but there's something that I have to do to correct what I had done.

Meanwhile,I went for interview at TAR College Penang early this morning and got taken in as a temporary assistant and will start working this Monday.

I missed those lil kids already!

And I dreamt that I hugged Shane Dawson!!

Lol gila.

I was emo to the point where I have no response seeing a grasshopper in my house.

Anyways,

Those words below are only meant for that one person that I've hurt yesterday.

So those of you who do not want to know you guys are welcome to leave this page as this has nothing gotta do with you.

Dear person, have you ever wondered why do I always merajuk you?

Maybe I do that coz I somehow got confused with my feelings and the truth.

And each time I get closer to someone I keep wanting to stay away too.

Yesterday I finally erupted because I no longer wanna live in your shadows.

Seeing your page is depressing because I don't exist.

You reply every single human that posted or commented in your profile but you always ignore mine.

I made a conclusion that since my existence is just like a blowing wind why don't you remove any tags or whatever.

You never bothered anyway.

Your action makes me feel unwanted.

And denied.

Remember how I've always asked you to walk out on me?

That's coz I think I have to wake up from this dream.

Now I have to leave this hanging because I cannot go on already.

Take care.

Rei: Sorry..

you're emo and I'm emo this sunday's gonna be a depressing outing.

Sleep tight,love.

Well,like it or not,

this is life.

Bye peeps!

2011-02-08T22:59:00.002+08:00

I'm so highhh!

Got my first pay cheque yesterday!!

Guys please don't think that its a huge sum.

Lol

It isn't.

But I am proud of myself.

That is the money that I earn through my hard work.

Life has never felt better.

=DDDD

I'm putting it in a frame until I need to get it deposited

*which is soon coz there's a loan shark in my house*

There were very few students who came yesterday and I ko-ed on the table after a while.

I miss sleeping in class!

Just joking.

Anyways finally I managed to get videos of another few cute students in Kumon!

Presenting

Yi Yang.

I don't really know this boy because he is Adrienne's student.

but who cares right?

He's still cute!

Secondly,

Daniel

Cheeky boy.

Always do things that teachers ask him not to do.

Last but not least,

Vinnesh!!

He doesn't take English but I always look forward to seeing him!

<3333

Wouldn't it be fun if we could see the world through their eyes?

In kids I see innocence, simplicity and they're genuine.

That is why I love them so.

My complicated world somehow becomes simple when they're around.

I see happiness in them too.

I hope you guys liked my post.

Goodnight peeps!

Loves.

2011-02-05T21:55:00.004+08:00

Can't believe I am in a total shut down mode for Chinese New Year...

I became very very whatever.

I don't even bother to collect ang pows..

I think there are only problems when this family gathers around.

Yesterday on the way back from my maternal grandmother's house in Butterworth,

my bro got into a shouting match with aunt.

Finally he knows her habit of accusing everyone.

And I thought we're supposed to be peaceful and noisy in a happy way?

I too,just realized now that we don't have reunion dinners.

We eat our dinners at different times alone.

I was thinking hard as I clean the house today.

I found out that I am becoming more and more like my aunt.

The insecurities,paranoia,doubt,fear,

these comes from the way I was raised.

And I subconsciously imply all these onto other people.

Therefore I would like to apologize to you guys(who happens to be reading this)

for whatever hurt that I have brought upon y'all with my insecurities and such.

One thing that I am different from my aunt.

I take corrections and I don't hate people who corrects me.

So as people around me, DO correct me okay?

And I have determined to somehow leave this place to follow my dream.

I no longer wanna be aunt's puppet.

I will not live in her sexist ways where girls are bullshits and boys are brains.

Wanna prove her WRONG!

I watched the way she treats my niece and nephews.

She's obviously bias and abusive.

I'm sure all of you know that I have an extremely negative thinking.

This was how I got em from.

I still don't get the purpose of this post.

But I felt very much better after typing all these down.

Friends, help me through okay?

I want to be a good friend to everyone as you guys are to me.

Sometimes I'd rather lose a friend than to get hurt.

But this thinking is totally outta place because not everyone will hurt me like those who did.

Rei: gomen ne..

Do forgive me lahh later no one wants to join me in bug-fear.

and also to my few other important victims aka people that mattered in my life..

VJ: I'll stop self-torture and you-torture kay?

Hong: There will be an end to my crying.

Credits to your shoulders.

May: You have your own path to walk now.

I do not want to stop you from doing what you want just because I cant.

and some assurance maybe?

*I'm weird and random*

Rups: I'll always be here and you know it.

Honestly, I think this is kinda lame,uncool or whatever you call it.

But it doesn't matter because I want to correct my mistakes.

So peeps!

Have a good rest and I love you guys loads!

*I love those named up there MORE!*
Some of you don't need to be mentioned.

Loves.

2011-02-02T19:47:00.005+08:00

I don't really know how to start this.

Lol

Uhhh

Happy Chinese New Year eve?

I haven't been blogging these few days coz I had some CNY preparation to do.

This time I'm gonna go simple and easy okay?

Monday was just another day.

Waking up.bathe.eat.work.

Was okay until I had problems deciding who to go out with on Tuesday.

Meanwhile,

I took a video of Yen Jun,another tiny tot in tuition.

I don't usually sayang him that much because he's a mischievous boy.

And he likes to annoy me on purpose.

Still, lil kids are like that.

So all I did was to be patient with him.

I was kinda distracted because I could not plan Tuesday's outing.

I got a brilliant idea when I got home.

I would go for lunch with Hong before work and then movie with VJ after work,

so that none would feel unwanted kan?

On Tuesday I went to Gurney and did not watch any movie with Hong because I thought I work at 2pm.

=.=

I'd still thought I work at 2pm if I did not call Adrienne.

We went to Xuan Xin to have lunch.

Well actually,he HAD lunch,not me.

Ah Hong and his -_- face.

Lol.

After lunch,

Hong and I loitered around not knowing what to do.

So we went to fourth floor.

I was super sleepy and I sat in that lil ambulance.

He got into the helicopter next to me.

His legs freaking long man.

Act-dunno face.

He walked to me to work again.

Learnt not to wear long sleeves or jacket when I have to walk from Gurney to work.

I was perspiring furiously.

And there were only a few students.

Went to Gurney again after work by cab.

Met up with Hong again for a while before VJ came.

Bought tickets for

I've been wanting to watch this but keeping the movie till VJ got here.

Haha.

I kept feeling bad because I feel like I abandoned Hong.

The movie was kinda scary.

I remained quite calm until the part where the pan dropped from the place.

My left hand goes over and clutched VJ's arm hard.

A lil bit of his skin came off.

After that part

I became violent and kept pulling his sleeve.

I mean, there were only about 20 people in the cinema.

And there were only both of us in our row.

No one sat in those rows in front of us.

Thank goodness the ghost did not wave at the camera.

I would've fainted.

We went to Sakae Sushi for dinner.

Cute!

chatted a bit.

I would love to stick around longer because I do not know when will I ever see VJ again,

but I had to go.

Ah Hong was waiting for me to go back together by bus.

I felt so sorry for him.

At last Ah Hong asked his dad to take us home because it was kinda late already.

*for my aunt and dad*

So yeah.

I got home good.

At least yesterday was better than my other living days.

Therefore I got to thank ah Hong and VJ for that great day yesterday.

=DDD
Today I went to pray to our ancestors.
I decided to let you guys see where I used to live and how beautiful it still is.

I'm gonna end my post right here alright?
Happy CNY and Happy Holiday guys!
Loves.

2011-01-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

So, I lived through yesterday.

Been really down lately.

Anyways Zed and Ying taught me how to trigger the ages of my Sims on Thursday and I successfully killed the two main characters.

Fai si they keep reproducing and making loads of unnecessary noise.

And while at work yesterday I finally erupted.

One 12-year old student called me stupid as always.

Usually I smile and continue marking papers.

But I got mad yesterday.

However stupid I was, I am still five levels higher than she is!

With that attitude of hers, she's never gonna get smarter because she's always copying answers.

You know why I let her?

Because I no longer wanna waste energy on a worthless piece of shit!

I then refused to talk to anyone because everyone is getting on my nerves!

Conrad kept talking to me but I ignored him totally.

Until...

He shouted at uncle.

Uncle jokingly said he should eat less because uncle's bike can no longer support his weight.

He raised his voice and asked uncle to shut up.

That was when I totally lose my temper.

I shouted at him,reminding him that no one is his slave.

He left for tuition and I remained silent while marking few last papers before I go home.

Adrienne said I looked hot when I'm angry.

Today, I went to work,hoping I'd get a chance to talk to Conrad properly..

My anger has not disappeared, but I did talk to him properly.

During lunch uncle told him that he had forgotten to buy his lunch.

He stared at uncle and was about to shout again when I yelled at him.

People all over the room turned and looked at me.

I did not care.

I told Conrad that I feel like killing him each time he does that.

Later on I told Conrad that even though uncle is working for his mum like all of us,

uncle aint his slave.

I asked him to imagine if he was old,not well,and being yelled at by a young boy almost everyday.

How'd he feel?

He listened to me calmly.

I hope it really got into his head.

Maybe its just me,

but I hurt each time they bully uncle.

I imagine someone like my dad being treated this way.

='(

I saw Sebastian and another baby boy Vin and I got over my emo-ness.

Got a video of Sebastian but did not manage to get Vin because each time he passes my table I run to him.

Vin is a very obedient lil boy because he comes to me whenever I call him.

And now...

Introducing Adrienne's lil Sebastian!

*I got him today coz Adrienne let me =P*

Cute right!

The next thing imma do is to get a video of tiny Vinnesh!(he's chinese btw)

He's as light as a feather and when he held my hand I could feel his tiny lil cute fingers!

<333333333

Conrad said that I've been making every lil baby my "khay kia"(I mean anak angkat not anak ayam)

since I came to the tuition centre.

Lol

Vained a lil with Miss Lee.

I went Prangin with my aunt after work and nothing much happened except the part where I "electrocuted" someone's bf with my smile by accident.

So I guess tomorrow will be a better day.

Sleep well guys!

Loves.

2011-01-25T22:51:00.002+08:00

Hello awesome people!

How are things goin?

some of you might think that its weird because I'm still smiling..

yesterday I went to the doctors again,both endocrine and nephro.

Dr. Khaw from Endocrine is really funny.

He can tell you bad news while smiling.

Made me smile too.

Lol

I know that this can get better because I've gone through worst in this department.

So it was pretty easy because it was not that serious too.

Went to Nephro after that.

The last time I'd seen Dr Kok she was pregnant.

And she's pregnant again.

She asked me about my job and all.

She said she could pay me more if I became her kid's nanny.

LOL

She said the SHORTEST time that I will last is until I am 25.

*Please note the capital letters*

Haha.

So I might live longer than that.

And if I don't, I have about another six years to live a life that has no regrets!

Thank goodness dad was outside.

Imagine his face if he heard that.

So today I went to Gurney with ah Hong.

Met him at the seventh floor and decided to watch

Great Day

My ticket.

I was gonna cry at some parts but stopped myself when I see Hong's face.

embarrassed

Lol.

Was super sleepy too because my mind has been working all night.

And we went to KimGary for lunch after movie.

Hong @ KimGary

Ah Hong then walked me to my workplace located in Jones Road.

Saved cab fare.

Lol.

It could be counted as a happy outing.

But it will not take away the pain in my heart.

My favourite student Alden came and as usual Adrienne and I laughed at his cuteness.

Yesterday Adrienne asked him whether he'll be coming tomorrow aka today and he nodded his head.

Then he looked at her and asked "tomorrow is what?"

So cute!

students who came today was super good.

Conrad said he's gonna miss me when I leave because there will no longer be a Miss Tan for him and Joshua to bully.

Haha.

Took pictures of Adrienne's lil Sebastian.

Sebastian

He's so cute!

*I think I say that about all lil kids*

Lol.

Well..

Life has to go on..

I didn't bother to keep May updated because as my so-called best friend,

she no longer seem to care about my existence.

For some reason I'm feeling very numb right now.

I guess that's all for today.

Rest well.

Loves.

* Falling for someone the first time is easy...it's the second time, after you have fallen and trusted someone to catch you and they didn't...when it becomes difficult to fall again.*

2011-01-19T21:01:00.123+08:00

I went out with Charmaine,Zed and Ying today.

Planned to meet everyone at Tanjung Bunga Market at 12pm.

I was there at 7am because aunt went to work.

So I waited at another aunt's house.

*Bla bla bla*

Met Charmaine at 12pm.

Waited for Zed and Ying for a while.

Then got on bus 104 just opposite us at the main bus terminal.

I LOVE 104!

because it passes Boon Siew and TAR College.

=DDD

Took some pics.

Charmaine's SHO-ing face.

So we went to buy tickets as soon as we got to Prangin.

Bought tickets to "My Ex Haunted Lover" and went to lunch at the food court.

We got Hall 7 and when we were about to go in we all stood at the door and stared at each other.

I keep trying to look at Charmaine because she's the sensitive type.

We thought there were people in the cinema but at last when we sat down Zed said that there weren't anyone.

We all freaked out but I was trynna remain as calm as I can.

Until Zed and Ying ran outta the cinema while Charmaine screamed.

I was the last to get out.

I was still running pass those seats when I saw Charmaine disappear into the stairs.

My heart almost stopped when I see them all at the door because I thought they could not open the door.

But at last we made it out.

We were hanging around at the hallway discussing about what happened.

Charmaine said she was grabbed at the waist at the exit and asked whether I did it because I was behind her.

How could I when my right hand was holding my bag and left hand was occupied by my phone?

Zed suggested that we went back to watch but I said we better not because if there was anything we have already been disrespectful by running and screaming.

So we went back to the counter and the girl was willing to give us another movie but we decided to move on to Gurney because at least it is not that scary.

Our tickets.

So we took bus number 10 to Gurney.

Charmaine texted her mum while we were in the bus about what happened and her mother's reply was,

"Aiya..lagi teruk..quickly call Jesus,Goddess of Mercy,Tua Pek Kong and anyone up there that you can think of.or Lei Tor Fatt..

Amen.*

We burst out LOL-ing!

Her mum can be very funny at times of anxiety.

LOL

The bus stopped at Gurney's roundabout and I went to ask that man whether the bus is going to go to Gurney Plaza.

They said we gotta walk there.

They thought we were tourists.

=.=

This was random but we have never taken a pic at the fountain although Gurney is our second home.

Pic taken by me!

Then the Rapid uncle came to offer us his help to take a pic for the four of us.

Ended up,he thought he took a pic but he didnt.

=.=

Then we ma went into Gurney Plaza lor.

Bought tickets to

"Homecoming"

Then we walked around.

Went fourth floor.

Saw those machines played by children.

*LMAO dunno what you call it =P*

So Zed and I got on it.

Imagine two big asses squeezed into ONE small seat.

My ass suffocated yo!

Took videos but its in the process of editing.

Will upload it soon kay.

Never knew Charmaine could look this hot in a carriage.

I was in the lil helicopter when I took this pic.

We went for the movie soon after.

It was a good movie!

We LOL-ed like orang gila.

Jack Neo looked FANTABULOUS as an auntie!

Hahahahaha

=DDD

We somehow forgotten about our eerie encounter earlier.

We all took a bus but went separate ways soon after with Charmaine,Ying and I getting down first before Zed.

So I came home.

Saw the moon.

It was beautiful.

I got addicted to looking at it until I cried.

So I stopped looking and came to blog.

Was blogging halfway when Hong texted me.

Asked me to look at the moon.

I know right?

Cannot stop finding fault with VJ because of what he said earlier.

I get very geram when he doubts me.

Ishk!

Anyhow,thanks to Charmaine,Ying and Zed for bringing laughters into my life today.

and also to Ah Hong for the comfort.

Not to forget,to VJ for making me mad.

=.=

Sleep well guys!

Remember to come back for the video okay?

Loves.

2011-01-18T22:39:00.002+08:00

Hello peeps!

Thanks for visiting my blog!

I did not go to work yesterday because I went to the hospital for blood test.

Besides my pathetic kidneys,doctor said that I'm temporarily anemic too.
And yet they took five bottles of blood coz two tests combined together.

But its not gonna stop me from anything!

Nothing much happened yesterday.

Maybe I was just a lil emo.

I made Hong emo too.

*Sorry!*

Today was more interesting.

Neil suggested that I apply for a job at Chicago Rib House in Gurney because the pay is higher.

But aunt has already found me a job as a temporary assistant at TAR College.

I'm torn.

Aunt keeps discouraging me by saying that I do not need to study anymore and to work is all that I need.

Wished I could tell her straight at her face that we are no longer living in her century where girls stay useless at home while boys go out and earn money.

The reason that I'm working is because I WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE!

Not like I asked for her money.

I get very pissed whenever she ask me to not think about college.

I was gonna go to work by bus when I saw my cousin brother Rocky so I hopped into his car since he was gonna go somewhere.

I was alone when I got there but Adrienne came minutes later to open the door.

*For your info I was waiting outside because I do not have keys*

So we chatted for a bit and corrected and marked whatever that has to be done.

My student came at 4smth.

They were funny.

And I actually scolded those two annoying students.

Time passed very fast and it was 7.30pm when I had only one student left.

Even so she has finished her worksheet long ago and was just waiting for her brother.

I was busy marking when I heard Adrienne say "Alden".

My lil cutie was there already!

I quickly pushed those other papers aside and asked Alden to sit with me.

He did.

=DDDD

Since there were not many people left I took a video of him during lesson.

Was teaching Alden the difference between WINK and BLINK.

I love kids!

LOL random.

How to spell bird?

He's adorable aint he?

He asked me whether my W910i is a blackberry.

Its not fake btw.

LOL

No matter how bad my day was I'll always smile when I see him around.

There's another cute boy named Sebastian.

But Adrienne claimed him hers already.

LOL its okay we can share share.

Gotta thank VJ for being there always.

I hope you guys had a great day too!

Rest well!

Loves.

*Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn't think you wanted.*

2011-01-16T22:39:00.077+08:00

I logged into Facebook the moment I got up this morning to see whether there's any news of Kevin.

I sighed in relief because he replied my comments and he said that he will not do anything stupid.

I feel like strangling him for all the tears that he has caused me to shed.

But thank God he's okay.

So I went to church with Angie.

I went up to POD and saw Tomo and Richie playing Uno with three other girls who knows me.

I didn't know who they were.

And I still don't.

They even know where and which unit I live in.

=.=

Saw Grace soon after that because I forced her to go to church last night.

During service Arthur texted me and told me that he will be coming to his friend's house which is in B Block and asked me whether I wanna meet him up.

So I said okay because I was not gonna go to cell group anyway.

Grace saw his text which says "I will go to your house at 3smth" and she gave me the "=O" look.

I started explaining non-stop because the truth is he's not even gonna see which unit my house is.

Just gonna see him at the pool.

She was obviously thinking nonsense.

So after service we went to the usual place for lunch and Willy sent YS,Grace and I back home.

Arthur called me five minutes after I got home.

I went to the letter box then to the pool.

We talked for about ten minutes and I asked him to go home because I was tired and wanted to sleep.

So he went home.

Kevin's uncle called me after dinner and told me that he has given Kevin back his phone.

I got a call from Kevin and scolded him like crap because he made me cry.

Lol

I've been online since after dinner as usual.

Saw RayRay listening to Long Distance by Bruno Mars and I downloaded it too.

It feels like what I'm feeling.

I'm gonna go to bed early because VJ is too busy to reply me and I have to go to the hospital for blood test early tomorrow morning.

I guess that's all for today?

Sleep well guys!

Loves.

Here are the lyrics to

Long Distance

Bruno Mars

There's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time
And I'm running outta things to do to get you off my mind (oh)
All I have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face everyday

Chorus:
With you is where id rather be
But we're stuck where we are and its so hard, so far
This long distance is killin me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are and its so hard, so far
This long distance is killin me
It's so hard (so hard)
When we are (when we are)
We're so far, this long distance is killin me
It's so hard (so hard)
When we are (when we are)
So far, this long distance is killin me

Verse:
Now the minutes feel like hours and the hours feel like days
While I'm away
You know right now I can't be home
But I'm comin home soon, coming home soon
All I have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face again

Chorus:

With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are and it's so hard, so far
This long distance is killin me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are and its so hard, so far

Breakdown:
Can you hear me cryin? (Oooooh)
Can you hear me cryin? (Oooooh)
Can you hear me cryin? (Oooooh)

Chorus:
With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are and it's so hard, so far
This long distance is killin me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are and its so hard, so far
It's so hard (so hard)
When we are (when we are)
We're so far, this long distance is killin me
It's so hard (so hard)
When we are (when we are)
So far, this long distance is killin me

There's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time.

True aint it?

*I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you're doing, but I can't help it, cause I'm in love with you.*

2011-01-15T23:37:00.000+08:00

I had an awful day today.

Adrienne did not go to work because she was away for some dunno what course

and I was left alone at English section.

Work and students kept piling up plus both sons of the boss kept quarreling makes me want to scream their heads off.

I was glad when 5pm came because at least I can come home.

Even so, I did not manage to finish marking all those papers.

Adrienne is gonna scream my head off.

She got mad at me yesterday because I said I'm looking for another job with higher pay.

What choices do I have?

Four bucks an hour aint gonna get me anywhere.

Whats more going to college in KL.

Did not go to church after work because we were supposed to have family dinner but at last it was cancelled.

So I got on Facebook after I bathe and all.

Got a shock because my friend Kevin tagged me in a note.

It sounds so suicidish.

I thought those were just words of anger.

So I did not comment or anything,

Then I went off to have dinner.

Aunt came back moments later and she mentioned about him.

My heart stopped.

My mind went nuts.

I told aunt to not break any news to me yet.

I took a few minutes to calm down,remembering what he tagged me in.

Then aunt told me that he has been missing since last night.

His uncle called my nephew to ask.

I panicked.

I came online to see his profile.

His last status asked us which are his friends to take care.

I burst out crying.

I'm so numb now and my brain is frozen.

If any of you happen to see him,please ask him to come back because no matter what happened,they are still his family and we are still his beloved friends.

Kevin and Alvin.

For those of you who do not know him,

I would like you to know that he is a very good friend and is always willing to help people out.

He is someone no one can afford to lose.

Someone who smiles at you all the time and cheers you up when you're down.

He has never given up on anything.

I hope that he will not give up on life.

2011-01-12T23:25:00.096+08:00

Today was my off day and so is tomorrow.

I was having conference call with Zed,Venita,Sarah and VJ when I got a reply from S2 last night aka this morning.

*terharu*

I'm a lil too excited.

Lol

o.O

I went out with Arthur,Melvin and Jason earlier.

Awkward!

I was like,trynna keep a distance.

Its just weird that your friend which you have always treated as a friend suddenly turned into your lover.

Hang on...

"Lover" not forgetting the inverted commas.

You guys gotta know that we just faked it.

This relationship thing happened because we have our own reasons.

And I "broke up" with Arthur when we were in the bus reaching our homes.

Haha

We were planning on what to tell people when they ask and Arthur said he was gonna tell them that I'm a cheater and a f****r because Grace always says that about her exes.

WTH?

Lol

So I came home feeling good like I always do.

And then I saw VJ's profile.

*emo*

copycat!

After that went to cook dinner and stuff.

I was washing dishes after dinner while many things were running through my head and before I know it,

I was rubbing my right thumb on the sharp side of the knife.

It was a lil painful but I hardly feel it because I was in a deeper emotional pain.

Aunt found me staring at my thumb not knowing what to do and she asked me to put plaster.

I did,forgetting to take a picture.

I came online after dinner to keep myself updated.

I saw Arthur's updates and I went to see his profile.

He really said that I'm a cheater and a f****r to Edwin!

Haha but we all know its NOT true!

Because if it is,I can say that about him too.

So I made him explain in Facebook.

I was arguing with VJ in MSN when S2 came online.

So I wished him again.

I was calm until he congratulated me on my "relationship" with Arthur!

=.=

THIS IS NOT TRUE!

I am serious that Arthur and I were not serious!

Pictures would be all over Facebook and whatever that has something gotta do with me if it was real.

And I did not take a single pic at the outing.

Come on la...

Usually I would wanna show the person that I love off to the world because he's someone that I'm proud of.

Arthur is a good guy and I'm a good girl(=PPPPPP) but he's not my type of fruit and I'm not his type of music.

At least we "ended" peacefully.

*Actually did not start also*

So PLEASE!

Don't luan luan lai.

Haha

It NEVER happened.

ohh and btw,

I removed the plaster and took a picture.

Shoulda taken it when the cut was bigger.

VJ caused this!

Joking hahha.

So I guess I'm gonna go off.

Can someone please sing me to sleep?

Lol

Goodnight people.

Loves.

*The fact is NOT the truth*

2011-01-11T22:01:00.083+08:00

Work was fun today!

The older students got more comfortable with me already.

It was overall a peaceful day at work because no one make me angry.

Lol

My heart goes out to the uncle who's working there.

He's 50+ already and he's still working although he is not well.

I got to work an hour too early on Monday and uncle was the only one there so we talked.

He said that he's like carrying a time bomb because of his sickness.

So I was teaching my level G student when suddenly the teacher from chinese section said that his student puked.

We all looked and that boy was running to the toilet.

They were shouting at his sister who is my level G student to go have a look at him but she was like,

"he's NOT my brother!"

Adrienne and I burst into laughters.

I was observing everyone around.Everyone became restless and there was a revolting smell.

I saw uncle coming with newspapers to clear up the mess.

He was a lil crippled when he walks.

I got angry.

No one else seems to want to help him.

And he as an elder has to clean up the young people's mess.

What the hell?!

So I offered him some help.

But there's another indian cleaning lady there so at last I went back to my table to do my work.

Soon there were only a few students left at out section.

I took a six-year old boy named Alden because my other students went to do math already.

Alden is a very cute boy!

I taught him a few days back.

I envy Adrienne.

She always gets those cute lil ones and I only get big kids.

I love kids more now!

I don't feel stress at all even when they make mistakes.

I was cleaning the table after Alden finished his work and he asked in his lil innocent voice.

"Teacher are you a children?why you become teacher one?"

I laughed.

I told him because I know all my ABCs and spelling.

Then I asked him to recite his ABC while he watch me wipe the tables.

Adrienne and I laughed again when he said it wrongly.

We were not being mean.

Just thought that he's super cute!

I came back after that because I only work till 8pm.

Below are some random pictures we took at work.

Adrienne's first pay cheque!

Posing with the pen

The view of the place from my table.

Math section.

Adrienne's side of English section from my view.

My side of English section from Adrienne's view.

Miss Lee at her desk

Alrights that's all for today.

Sleep well yo!

Loves.

2011-01-10T11:10:00.000+08:00

So...I got into a relationship with Arthur yesterday.

Is this real?

Please don't ask me because I do not have an answer.

And I don't feel like explaining because those who wanted me to explain didn't matter(as much) and I doubt that

the one who mattered would ask for an explanation.

S2..I stay true..

Maybe this has happened because I was afraid..

I don't wanna see history repeats itself

every time it does,

I couldn't get out.

Someday you guys might understand why...

And I know life aint a like a drama because in reality,

a person changed because he/she has changed(mostly),

not because of anything else.

In my case,I have a reason.

And I will keep my promises.

Have an awesome day guys!

Loves.

*Sometimes what you see might not be the truth*

2011-01-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

Hello Peeps!

=DD

I went for my new job today!

I'm currently working in Kumon located at Jones Road every Monday,Tuesday.Friday and Saturday.

The other three days I will be working at Helena Cafe in Ferringghi.

So today I went to Kumon for the first time.

Adrienne was the one who brought me there.

The first thing they had me to do was to take an exam.

I took Level-H and got 95marks!

Well Level H is not that high yet.

Highest is Level L.

So I have four papers more to get to the highest.

Levels range from A to L.

I'm just a few steps away!

Lol

So I got taken in as an English tutor just like Adrienne.

But she teaches the younger kids and I got twelve year olds.

One of my students keep asking questions that has nothing gotta do with English.

For example,"teacher why you so small?"

"teacher you got licence ah?"

"teacher how you go back?"

"teacher you have boyfriend?"

"teacher what time are you coming tomorrow?"

I find them cute at times but I really don't like to answer loads of unnecessary questions when I mark their papers.

The tall girl challenged my patience.

She snatched my paper when I was marking.

I marked another paper and she told her friend that I cannot get angry mia.

She doesn't know when my volcano erupts.

Adrienne kept teasing me because I explain to the students until they understand what I'm trynna say.

I actually force them to listen to me.

I hope that tomorrow will be as beautiful!

I'm almost too lazy to say anything anymore.

Sleep well!

Loves.

Ray's So-called Farewell

2011-01-06T23:51:00.002+08:00

So we had an outing from 12pm-7pm today.

Well,not exactly.

I was waiting for Zed to text me when Charmaine texted us.

So I decided to not wait for Zed anymore and get to Gurney as soon as possible to not let Charmaine linger alone.

While running down I called Rapid Penang to ask what time will the bus be coming.

They told me that two buses has just gone and another was at Masjid Terapung which is VERY near to my place.

I ran like I never did before but I see the bus passing right before my eyes at the traffic lights.

I have to be in Gurney by 1pm and according to the operator the next bus will come at 1pm or later.

I was turning back to the 103 bus stop when I saw a very old cab and a very old cabbie.

I've got no choice.

I got into it and told the uncle that I need to reach Gurney as soon as I can.

He said that he will try his best.

While passing the Maybank traffic lights I saw a 103!

*that bus stops directly in front of Gurney and the last stop is halfway up to my house*

I almost burst out cursing!

Lol but I didn't really.

The uncle drove like a turtle.

I felt so suffocated.

I asked him whether he could go faster and he said being late is nothing as long as we reach destination safely.

WTH?

Temperature was seriously rising.

His cab no aircond and he was getting on my nerves.

When we stopped at Gurney Drive traffic lights I paid him quickly because I was gonna fly off as soon as he stops.

When he got there I said thank you and he said,"okay baby".

=.=

Apek fat hao.

Flew to MPH and found Charmaine there.

She looked hot in her new hairstyle.

We went to get a drink.

On the way to meet the others at McD we got caught by those Sony people to play a game.

Conclusion:we didn't win.

The others were in Secret Recipe so we went to show our faces.

Lol

Me (in Ray's shades) & Zed

Ven and Shan

Decided to go to Redbox so both of us went to book a room.

After that Charmaine and I went to Sakae Sushi.

"Lu ai jiak hami?"

hahaha

"dan che,vain seng"

Lol

Her soft,shiny new hairstyle.

Asked Charmaine whether I should smile with or without showing my teeth.

Lol

*pouts*

Adding wasabi!

Charmaine seem to be a HUGE fan of Salmon.

Lol!

Amount of sushi we had.

Lmao

Went redbox after that.

This was the first time all of them went to RedBox.

I think our screaming turned RedBox upside down.

Charmaine and her pussy-pose.
Haha
We all sang so gila-gila but I started to be emo when I was singing Drowning.
Then broke down when I was singing "When you're gone"
Ray saw tears on my face and she ran over and hugged me!
Then Charmaine,Zed and Ying came.
So touched.
<3
Here's a video.
Please don't listen in full volume because there's no insurance included in my blog.
=P

I aint pacifying myself but we don't usually sing this bad kay!
Or maybe,running outta tune is just my profession.
Lol!
Charmaine and I left early because we wanna go job-hunt.
Went Wongkok
dragged each other around.
Met up with Ray and gang when they came out.
Charmaine and I went to take bus.
I got down at church.
Prayer meeting.
Met friends that I've missed.
Finally, I feel like I'm home.
A place where I belong.
And came home after that.
You guys have fun kay?
Loves.
*I am so glad to see you online*

2011-01-05T00:03:00.000+08:00

Finally I know what to blog about today.

Thanks to VJ for falling sick.

Lol!

This is gonna be a long post yo!

How many of you actually know what is the meaning of

"love-sick"?

Here is the definition of love-sick according to the Urban Dictionary.

~Love Sick~

A deep, often depressing, feeling of wanting to find love; to be loning for love; to be without a companion to share ones life with, though it is desired deeply.

So deeply affected by love as to be unable to act normally. You awake every morning, thinkin on your love, having dreamt of them all night, the pain of separation searing your heart every time a song or something else brings back the memory of your last encounter. Daydreaming, drawing hearts in the sand, constantly thinking "I wish they were here so I could share this moment" even when you are doing the most simple thing. The consuming fire within the heart for even one more moment with ones love that defies rational thought, knowing full well, one moment would never be enough, yearning for eternity together.

Without a partner, lover, etc: To be tired of love, to miss being in love, to be heartbroken, to want someone to love, to want to be loved back. With a partner, lover, etc: To miss your lover, to want to be with them more, to want to see them, to not be able to keep your mind off them.

So deeply affected by love as to be unable to act normally. It may be reciprocated or unreciprocated.
When it comes to studies or work, you get distracted and misfocus easily cos the face of your crush appears in your mind every millisecond.
Your mind is preoccupied with thoughts of s/he.

You will eventually begin to find it hard to enjoy your everyday life and would rather be alone and think of s/he.
Slowly, your social life and you school/work life will be affected.
You will be more interested in the person's life more than the lives of the people around you, in fact, your 99.999% of your mind is filled with thoughts of him/her.

Whenever you are out of your house, you will hope to see him/her. Unknowingly, after your work/school, you will appear at places where both of you met or the places where you think s/he might have a higher possibility of appearing.
You begin to be very conscious about your every move and seem to be always smiling when you are near him.

You will begin to have a terribe habit of trying to "overananalyzing" the person's every move, finding evidence that s/he is secretly in love with you too.

When you start to think that s/he might not even know your existence or might not even like you a tiny puny bit, you become unreasonably depressed.You start to lose concentration on many things and find it hard to make decisions in everyday life.

To be lovesick is to deviate from physical and emotional 'normality'. In other words, you walk around like the walking dead, feeling empty, chest crushing, longing for that special someone. That special someone doesn't have to be a love interest. It could be a relative you've loved and lost, it could be a friend you've loved and have separated from.

When you're lovesick, you dream and think about person that a lot. Of course, that is just another symptom of love sickness.

To be lovesick means to suffer from an unrequitted love or deception.
Love sickness has its own symptons, such as insomnia, depression, loss of appetite, loss of interest in everyday life and work, obsessive thoughts, mental intrusions and a frequent inclination to cry.

"Don't believe the other definition that has all those thumbs up for saying it is being in love and "drawing hearts in the sand" and stuff, because that is the opposite, that is lovestruck, not lovesick"

This feels so true.

I started this post with a humorous mood just wanting to tease VJ.

But as I read along,it sounded more and more like me.

Well not entirely.

SOME of it.

Just in case you did not know,

I don't stalk the person that I love.

In fact,the more I love a person,

the more insignificant he seems to be in my life.

But the truth is only within myself.

I hope you guys can get something out of this post.

Goodnight peeps.

Loves.

*I'm not love drunk.I am love sick*

2011-01-03T23:20:00.001+08:00

I went out with Ray,Zed and Ying today.

Went to watch movie.

Thought of watching My Ex Haunted Lover because they're supposed to be "legal" already.

But the counter girl said cannot.

So we watched The Tourist.

*again*

sighh

After movie we just hung around not knowing what to do until we saw those massage chairs at the new wing.

Ray went on it and she started talking nonsense.

Lol!

Then Zed and Ray forced Ying on the chair.

Looked like gang-rape.

Lol

After that decided to make a video.

"Three Minutes of Satisfaction"

Hahahhaa

Sorry you gotta turn 90 degrees sideways.

Nothing interesting after that.

I am now home.

Had fun today.

Goodnight people.

Loves.

2011-01-02T23:53:00.018+08:00

I'm no longer working in Ferringghi Garden.

Too much liao!

They fired my nephew.

And I resigned too.

My health cannot cope with the timing and condition of the workplace.

Medicine time went haywire.

I got myself another job which is only located three doors away.

Working hours shorter.

The restaurant is also smaller.

But it is a more comfortable place.

I know because it belong to the mother of a friend.

Although the pay is less.

But I'll just work while looking for another job.

I'm not giving up on going to college!

SUCKD gotta wait for me

Have fun guys!

Loves.

2011-01-01T01:42:00.080+08:00

Happy New Year Yo!
Many of you must've gone off to celebrate.
And I just came back from work.
=.=
My nephew and I were supposed to start working tomorrow(which is today already).
Earlier we went to collect our uniforms but ended up dragged to work because they're in need of staff since it was gonna be a busy night.
Working time is 2pm-12am every day.
Seniors were pretty patient with me.
Kitchen staff jokes around and teases me.
They prolly haven't seen me cry.
=X
Nahh just joking.
They taught me what to do and what not to.
So from 2pm to 4pm we gotta wear work shirt and set up the tables and all.
At four we get to rest for a while(eat and bathe)
and after that gotta change to our official uniform.
I hung on those uniforms like a scarecrow
=.=
Well it was certainly a very busy night.
Couldn't stand still for five minutes.
Many customers happen to be interested in my age.
o.O
But honestly I dislike challenging customers.
One person asked me why was I so happy.
(I was not)
but I said its good to maintain smiling while working.
He was like,"are you sure?or are you forced to?"
I smiled and walked away after my senior came to take his order.
There was this incident where I accidentally spilled curry on the table and it was on the customer.
I freaked out.
They looked like college students.
A group of five males.
They were talking to me when I served their table and I got too distracted to care about the curry
because one guy is so handsome!
Joking lah oii!
I mean,yeah he's cute but he's not the only good-looking one.
=X
There were fireworks but I was too busy to watch.
=(
After work my nephew and I sat there like statues.
Very tired.
Took my phone out and saw 18 new messages.
=(
I got more last year.
My workmates were messing around spraying water and all.
As I watch them I counted how many times I almost gave up today.
Twelve times in ten hours.
But I wanna go to college and I will not give up.
Finally I know the pain that people go through just to reach their goal in life.
And I know that my aunt is stopping me from going to college because according to her,we cannot afford.
All money was given to my brother.
I will stay strong to prove her wrong.
I will no longer live my life the way she wants it.
I started my first day of this new year with tears.
But I am proud because finally I can stand on my own two feet.
All this for the sake of going to college and chasing after my dreams.
I am old enough to not fully rely on my family members.
This is the least that I can do to ease the weight on my dad's shoulders.
=)
Well I gotta K.O already.
Same routine tomorrow.
Goodnight peeps!
Loves.

2010-12-30T23:01:00.002+08:00

Fellow Penangites,

I AM BACK!

Lol

Came back yesterday and was too lazy to blog.

Hehe.

I went out with my awesome mates today!

I went to meet Shannen in Gurney at 11am.

Got to McD and waited for Venita there.

Proceeded to Parkson because Ven's applying for a job there.

Shannen and I waited while Venita went for interview.

I saw a guy who looks like "apple juice?" opposite where we were standing.

Aimed him a little.

After a few minutes Shannen said that the guy is cute.

I was like "I know right too bad he's not wearing specs"

I was busy vaining when suddenly Shannen got excited and she became a lil loud.

"Weih he wear specs already!"

I turned 180 degrees to look at him.

Alamak more like "apple juice?" now!

Got a lil excited.

But nahh

Something else

was in my mind.

Ven's taking too long and at last Shannen and I decided to go back to school to see the principle first.

After they were done we walked back to Gurney because it was time to meet my other friends.

Went to Food & Tea before movie.

Charlotte was wondering how Rups became not innocent

Crazy Cousins

We watched

The Tourist

and went to KimGary after that.

Mattie and Edwina were busy vaining

Rups and I did too!

After KimGary Rups went back while Edwina,Char,me and Mattie got into her mum's car.

She was gonna send us all back.

In the car Matt suggested that we go to Straits Quay.

And so we did.

I never knew the existence of this place until two days before I went to KL that day.

It is a very nice place!

Straits Quay

How can I not know the existence of this place?

Char and I

Done vaining at the front,we went to the back which is the view facing the sea.

It was awesomeee!

Walking in the midst of people in love with the wind blowing softly on our faces was an indescribably positive

feeling anyone could have.

And for the first time in my life,

I see something with my heart.

The view of the place.

Me,Char and Mat on the spiral staircase.

Blur

=.=

Shooting stars?

LOL

The back building.

Anyways most of the pictures in Straits Quay was taken by Mat.

Well for those of you who has never been here,you guys gotta bring your gf/bf here!

The air and the view creates a harmonious atmosphere!

I'm in love!

*with what?*

Lol

Finally we went to Ananda for dinner.

When we were leaving Ananda we saw a spotlight shining on the building of Flamingo Hotel.

Picture of Flamingo Hotel taken at Ananda.

Got home at about 9pm.

Here I am blogging.

Gonna go to bed soon.

Will be collecting my work uniform tomorrow.

I am doing all these because I want to prove to people that I am not a burden although I am carrying a sickness.

I hope to blog again soon.

Sleep well guys!

Loves.

*I wished you were here*

GOODBYE KL! Hello Penang.. =/

2010-12-28T23:35:00.057+08:00

Today is my final day in KL for year 2010.

I remember how miserable I was when I first came.

But at least,theres something that I look forward to every single time I come to KL since last year.

So far, I failed to.

But each time I do it gives me a hope.

A reason for me to see future positively.

I do not wanna go back!
Anyways,bro brought me to Bukit Kiara earlier to pay the toll fee that he didn't pay the other day when he was on the way to fetch me from 1utama.
Since I don't know when will I come again I asked bro to not go home that early.
He drove us around the Tropicana area.

I'm forever takin pics of trees.

Somewhere in Tropicana.

The tunnel of light.

LOL

And finally,a video of my funny brother.

My bro is childishly funny at times and he put his finger into his nose because he knows that I don't like it.

Another funny thing was we waved at buildings and cars!

So random.

After that we got back home.

Oh ya!

Bro got me a Maxis number.

I'm loving every second that I have over here.

Going back to Penang = stress.

Gonna start working on the first of January at Ferringghi Garden.

Do visit me when you have time!

Take care guys!
Loves.
*Love is where you are and problems are where aunt is*

2010-12-25T23:32:00.147+08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Finally I am connected to the internet.

Been trying to since half an hour ago and was afraid that I couldn't get to blog before this day ends.

Waking up to a Christmas morning is just like any other day.

I am no longer excited nor counting days for Christmas.

For lunch,my cousin,her hubby, aunt and I went to

The Ritz-Carlton.

My bro went somewhere else with his mates so he did not join us for lunch.

I was stressed to be sandwiched between three adults of different characters.

Aunt

~The fast and furious!in scolding~

Arai-san*cousin's hubby*

~could be funny and serious~

and

Esther

~age is just a number for her because she's young at heart~

Below are what we had for lunch.

*I adore dim sums!*

Yam cake
-two and a half pieces gone before I managed to get a pic-

Siew Mai
<3

I think this was the scallop dumpling or something.
Didnt bother to find out.
=X

Chicken feet.
I'm not a fan.

Fish balls and all that.

This is wanton noodle according to aunt.

and last but not least,
my favourite Oolong tea!
Hahaha

So we got back after that.
Time to open presents!

Ing(zhe maid) got a pair of sneakers.

Aunt got the bag she wanted.

I haven't got Esther the umbrella that she wants.
=X
We went to do our own things after that.
Lets move on to dinner.
This year we had Japanese steamboat again like last year...

Dinner preparation

Arrangement of utensils.

Everyone has a set.

These are the legs of the Alaska King Crab.
One kilogram costs RM170.
=.=

Here's a video of the dogs attacking their presents.

Hmmm.
After dinner we just hung around for a while before starting our night program.
Tonight I have a choice whether to stay home and watch horror movies or go out yam cha with bro.
Gotta enjoy my last few days in KL.
=)
Goodnight people!
Loves.
*All I want for Christmas is YOU!*

2010-12-22T00:49:00.129+08:00

Hello!!!!

=DDD

Paiseh lar my today's post became tomorrow's post again coz I came back late.

Gaya and I ended up in 1Utama for the whole day because it was already 2pm when she reached Subang.

Got there by cab.

We went in through the old wing.

I remember that I used to always be there sometime seven or eight years ago.

From there we went to the GSC to get tickets.

That was at 4pm and we still have more than an hour before the movie starts.

Since Gaya said she was hungry we went to the I love yoo place to eat.

*couldn't take pics because my phone camera screwed at that time*

After food we went to the arcade.

Gaya played drums while I sat and watched.

Not used to the arcade environment there.

After that we went to U-Bowl because we didn't know what else we could do.
On the way I saw two of Chun Kit and Wai Yi's friends which are Yu Tian and Kah Kit.

U-Bowl receipt

Gaya in action XD

Head Phantom has got a sexy ass =P

Went to Waffle World after bowling.

=D
It was already 5.30pm when we were done so we ran up to GSC.

FIVE!
<3
Watched

My Soul To Take
Its pretty cool.
Scary too.
Gaya was clinging on to me and the two seats on my left was empty.
Had to act strong because I seldom see Gaya freak out.
Haha.
Movie ended at 7.30pm and since there was still time we bought tickets to another movie.

Aku Masih Dara

This movie is obnoxious.

I don't like the ending because I think movies should end more realistically.

This has a happy ending.

=.=

It was already 10pm when the movie ended so Gaya and I went to wait for my brother at the roadside.

Randomly took a pic.

Do understand that my phone camera is screwy.

Lol

We waited tor about half an hour when my bro called and told us that he went the wrong way to some highway to KL.

And he did not bring money for toll.

=.=

We waited by the roadside like night kutu.

Not to forget those weird glares we got from other people.

After a while my bro came and sent Gaya home to Old Klang Road.

Had a sibling-discussion in the car.

Got home.

Aunt was too mad at me that she did not even bother to scold me.

Lol!

Overall I had a happy day because I was smiling away at everyone when I was out.

GENUINELY.

I'm gonna go watch drama with my cousin already.

Rest well people!

Loves.

*someday it will happen*

2010-12-20T21:16:00.001+08:00

Hello peeps!

How is everyone doing?

I disappeared for four days already!

Did anyone miss me?

Lol

Well I've been in another relative's house in Serdang.

Couldn't speak English over there because they're all chinese educated.

So I've been speaking Mandarin and Cantonese(rojak) when I was there.

I suck.

Below was a video taken on the second day I was there.

Please ignore my (according to my niece) *zou yin* language.

That lil boy is being taken care of by my aunt.

Three-year old Guo Hao

*peace*

On Saturday we went to my cousin sister's house in Setapak because they were having a party for both her daughters who has birthdays in December.

Three- year old Xin Ying,my baby niece

Those "lou yan kar" were playing mahjong while my 15-year old niece Karmen and I were busy helping out in the kitchen and also babysitting.

Cute!

Once Guo Hao held Xin Ying's face and kissed her!

Went back to Serdang at about 11pm.

The car broke down the moment we reached the front gate.

Thank God it didn't happen on the highway,

I would've freaked out.

On Sunday my bro came with the car and we all went to Ampang for a haircut.

After my bro and I got our hair done we went to the KTM station with Karmen.

Bro was gonna meet his chick in Mid Valley while Karmen and I was gonna go to Times Square.

The hairstylist is a friend of my aunt and she straightened my hair temporarily.

*it just died*

this was how I looked like on Sunday.

So we went shopping and all.

Supposed to come back to Subang on Sunday but aunt decided to stay till today.

So we went to the Jusco nearby and hung around separately.

Both aunts and Guo Hao.

Karmen and I.

While having dinner at the food court I happen to see a guy who looked very "familiar"..

He was wearing popular shirt so my niece and I went to popular after food.

We were looking around and we found that person.

SO ALIKE!

Even from the side.

He looked at us and Karmen burst into laughter.

I tahan till he looked away and I burst out laughing too.

Eww!

NO WAY!

So NOT alike!

Went home after that.

We reached Subang at 2pm today.

Went to Maxis Academic Plaza with cousin to get her iPhone.

Came back.

I needed to blog so here I am.

Gonna hang out with Gaya again tomorrow!

Destination: Summit,The Curve,and 1Utama.

I have learned to see the good in the bad.

*I will not give up as long as there is a glimmer of hope*

Have fun guys!

Loves.

2010-12-17T00:32:00.000+08:00

Damn..

Its midnight already!

Wanted to blog earlier but was too busy doing something else.

Now the post became tomorrow's post( which is today)

Had a miserable morning because aunt couldn't stop blabbing.

It feels like forever to wait for my bro to send me to KL central.

They like to waste time.

I got to KL central and God knows what happened because I didn't know where I was.

Was on the phone with Gaya and I attacked her when I saw her.

*I mean bear-hug*

We headed to Times Square.

Got there and went to buy tickets for Tron.

Gaya has been wanting to go to the GSC i-maxx or smth.

It was cool.

The hall is freaking huge and it has got two projectors.

There are 555 seats in the hall.

The guy who sat behind me behaves like a worm.

Kept kicking my seat.

After movie we went to Low Yat Plaza.

Nothing interesting plus those things are what I can see but cannot touch.

Lol

From Low Yat we moved on to Sungai Wang Plaza.

Nothing much too because they're closing already.

Saw one red statue-man and a golden one at the other end.

I suggested something to Gaya but she was not sporting enough.

Lmao

-evil laugh-

Planned another outing next week.

Hopefully it will be a memorable one.

*smiling through the pain*

You guys take care kay?

Sleep well.

Loves.

2010-12-14T23:13:00.002+08:00

Fourth day in KL.

Still surviving.

Notice that my aunt likes boys in our family more than girls.

My bro has been having fever since we got here and aunt takes care of him like he's a lil treasure.

She even served him food in his room.

The last time I had fever all she did was to yell at me and kept saying how careless I was in taking care of myself.

=.=

Have to accept the fact.

The only faithful friend that I have over here is Kyu,my cousin's dog.

She has two dogs and two cats.

I'm not a fan of cats and I don't play with Lion(the older dog)

because he seems to be depressed all the time.

Will be in more detail the next time I blogged about them.

So I went to USJ with Esther this afternoon.

I was telling her how terrified I am towards insects.eg: grasshoppers.

After that we got home and walked the dogs.

My cousin saw water in those foams and poured them out to prevent the breeding of mosquitoes.

Almost opposite of SMK SS17

Good Citizen Award Year 2010 goes to Esther Tang.

Lmao

Nilai: Menyayangi dan menghargai alam sekitar.

Lol!

She got bitten by mosquitoes.

In front of First Baptist Church

No more pictures after that because while Kyu was peeing my cousin was like, "Mel,grasshopper"

I turn my head,looked at it,and ran to the other side of the road.

DISGUSTING!

She laughed at the funny sight.

My brain becomes retarded when I see bugs.

Our outing venue changed for this Thursday.

I was disappointed, but maybe its just not fated.

Told you Gaya's reluctant.

Going Times Square or something instead.

Lol

Let it rest in God's hands.

Below are some other random pictures.

Esther and Kyu.

This picture was taken at 2.04am on 13th December 2010.

This was taken when we were watching " One Liter of Tears"

Yeah, I managed to influence my cousin to watch that drama.

We said that we won't cry and challenged each other.

I lost yesterday(aka this morning) and burst out crying at the part where Haruto ran to the zoo for Aya in the rain.

Too bad this only happens in movies and dramas.

The song Konayuki played a huge role in making me cry.

Haruto+Konayuki = Banjir di Subang Jaya.

Hahaha.

We only watch dramas together from about 12am-4am everyday because my cousin comes back at 11+ from work.

It gets funny when she gets drunk.

Start talking nonsense and stuff.

I'm gonna go soon.

Wanna see who cries tonight.

You guys take care okay?

Loves.

*如果有缘分,迟早会遇到*