Mama's Story.

“By the time most people say 'I'm sorry' it is already too late.” 
― Ken Poirot

Today, I wanna blog about a wonderful woman. 

She was my mother.

This beautiful woman left us on the 18th of April 1999.

Back then, we were happy although we were just living in a little house by the beach.

Mama would occasionally bring us back to our maternal grandmother's house located in Butterworth and life was wonderful.

Looking at pictures we took in the past, I know that these are the moments that I can never have again. 

Things would be so different had she never left.

Mum and her smile that I wish to see, even if it's only once, again.
=')

I lost my comfort and my support when she left.
At the age of only seven,it was confusing.
It felt like a dream, yet I know that we will never see her anymore.

Dad told us that she'll be happy wherever she is now,because God loves her more than we do.

Yet now, the only thing left with us are unspoken love and a thousand apologies.

and I thought she'll always be around..

Here's the story that I wrote when I was 13.

It all happened on 18^th of April 1999. That day, everything was very weird. From the minute I woke up, I knew something funny was going on. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Then I went to have my breakfast. My mum,dad,and brother were sitting at the dining table, eating and talking at the same time.

             After breakfast, my mum said she had a bad stomachache. My dad advised her to have a rest. After a few hours, she came out of the room and started cooking our lunch. The chicken curry that she cooked that day tasted strangely delicious. After lunch, she told us that she was going to the clinic for a medical checkup. Before she left, she said to me, “Did you like the chicken curry? I hope you liked it because this may be the last time I’m able to cook chicken curry for you and remember, girl, learn to appreciate everything and every moment that you have.”

        I didn't notice her strange behavior that day. About 30 minutes later, she came back exhausted due to the traffic jam she had been caught in. I saw the sad expression on her face. I had a strange feeling and my heart kept telling me not to let her go, or I will lose her forever!

       I thought that it was just my imagination. She advised my brother and I to listen to the elders and to respect them always. She waved to us again before she left, and tears rolled down her sorrowful eyes, then she said goodbye. After that, I sat down on the couch. A moment later, I heard the phone rang. I answered.

        My nightmare began the moment I answered the phone. The man who called told me that a lady had been hit by a car and he asked me, “Is she your relative?” I dropped the phone in horror and started screaming for my dad. He then answered the phone and rushed out with my brother without telling me anything. I was left alone with my fears and imagination. I cried bitterly until I received another call. It was my dad. He spoke in a sorrowful voice. He said,”I’m going to fetch you in a moment. We’re going to the hospital. Mum is in a critical condition!”

   We rushed to the hospital and I stood in front of the ICU room, dumbfounded. At the moment when the doctor came out. He said, ”Sorry…….” Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, I dashed into the room and started looking for my mum.

“I found her!” My heart was screaming. I sat beside her, held her hand and whispered into her ear.
”Mama.."
I begged. I couldn't continue as no words came out.
In the midst of my confusion, I saw my aunt reassuring her that we will be taken care of.
Then she lets go.
I'll never forget watching them push her cold,lifeless body out of the Intensive Care Unit.

Till today, I still dream that she is still here with me and I wish I would never have to wake up. But when I woke up, I realized that she is not here anymore. She has left us in this cruel world.

    To the readers, my advice is,”appreciate everyone, everything and every moment while you can. Don’t make your elders upset, especially your parents. You must appreciate their love and care before it’s too late."

Another thing that broke our hearts was that my maternal grandma never knew that my mum was no longer around.
She has lost her vision since long ago and my aunts and uncles kept it away from her as they were worried that she will not be able to take it
. They told her that mum was involved in an accident and was sent to KL for treatment.
She never knew until the last second before she took her final breath.

She has been sick for quite some time,but she hung on because she was waiting for her daughter, my late mum to visit her again before she leaves.
One fateful day, my aunt decided that we can no longer keep the truth from her.
 A few of my uncles then told her that mum was gone.
She cried and closed her eyes. 
Only then we knew that she's been hanging on just to see mum for the last time.
We've kept it from her for five years. 

I hope they're happy wherever they are now.
Maybe someday, we will all meet again.I'll just let time decide.