Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Yesterday,my sis Melody called me on Skype and we talked for more than an hour...she was very down...it hurts me seeing her this sad...she teared so badly...but I failed to show her any emotions...usually I will cry when I see her cry...but I was cold yesterday...she introduced a few sad songs to me...they didn't put a single tear in my eye...anymore...I went offline after that...while in bed,my eyes rained...and I figured it out...I cannot cry when sis was crying because I need to be strong when she was weak...only then she can lean on me...
I stared at the ceiling and remembered what she had said earlier...
Empty promises made and broken in a relationship of four and a half years...and I thought of S2...what's more when we've never even started?
People might think why do we believe in that person when we already know that its a lie?That is not stupid..its just that at times,we allow ourselves to be lied to in a certain situation by that particular person...We'd rather trust our beloved than to doubt them...we keep our eyes blinded and our ears blocked from the truth...
We might not have a beautiful beginning,but at least,give us a good ending...give us a complete answer and don't leave us hanging...tell us,if there really is a reason behind all this...we need to know and we will understand...we might say that we've moved on...but the truth is,we never did...the memories live in us...
If we say we're okay...that might not be the truth...if you think that we are happy,think again...not everyone is strong like you,nor as cruel as you are...if we say that what you've done didn't earn our slightest damn, we lied...
We are human beings with feelings and emotions...just like you...


okay I'm sorry I got carried away again...below are the lyrics to two nice songs that I know...I hope you like them... =)








Never Alone by Jim Brickman



May the angels protect you


Trouble neglect you


And heaven accept you when its time to go home


May you always have plenty


The glass never empty


Know in your belly


You're never alone





May your tears come from laughing


You find friends worth having


As every year passes


They mean more than gold


May you win and stay humble


Smile more than grumble


And know when you stumble


You're never alone





Chorus: Never alone 


Never alone


I'll be in every beat of your heart


When you face the unknown


Wherever you fly


This isn't goodbye


My love will follow you stay with you


Baby you're never alone





I have to be honest


As much as I wanted


I’m not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow


So when hard times have found you


And your fears surround you


Wrap my love around you


You're never alone





Chorus





My love will follow you stay with you


Baby you're never alone





So when hard times have found you


And your fears surround you


Wrap my love around you


You're never alone


(This is perasan-ly dedicated to S2 =P)

The next song is Someday When I Stop Loving You
by Carrie Underwood

Someday When I Stop Loving You

One foot on the bus about half past nine
I knew that you were leaving this time
I thought about laying down in its path
Thinking that you might get off for that
I remember that night we laid in bed
Naming all our kids that we hadn't had yet
One for your grandma and one for mine
Said we'd draw straws when it came time

[Chorus:]
I'll move on baby just like you
When the desert floods and the grass turns blue
When a sailing ship don't need a moon
It'll break my heart but I'll get through
Someday when I stop loving you

I bet all I had on a thing called love
I guess in the end it wasn't enough
And it's hard to watch you leave right now
I'm gonna have to learn to let you go somehow
Somehow

[Chorus]

Oh someday someday when I stop

[Chorus]

Someday when I stop loving you 


This is exactly how I feel! LOL
Sorry la my blog can be depressing sometimes.
Wish me luck for my visa!
Loves =)

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Fun Failed Mission!







I was supposed to watch LeeHom's "Love In Disguise" with Jolyn last Thursday...but she couldn't make it at the last minute so I was left with disappointment...Charmaine and I planned to watch it on Friday after school...and although the majority of us wanted to watch this movie we ended up watching Avatar because one of our friends wanted to watch it and we all gotta tolerate her to stop her from complaining...a BIGGER disappointment...not to forget the worst RM6 that I've ever spent in my life for that Avatar movie...so Charmaine and I planned to go to church on Saturday and to watch that movie in Prangin after church...on Saturday morning,Charmaine,Zed,Chia Ying and I met up at the Tanjung Bunga Market...the plan to go to church was cancelled due to some religious reasons and we were already late anyway...so we headed straight to Prangin...the first thing we did was to go get the tickets for Love In Disguise but this Cathay Cineplex does not have the movie! I was screaming my frustrations out in my heart! No word can describe my disappointment...theres nothing we could do so we bought tickets for The Expendables...seeing how disappointed I was, Charmaine suggested that we go to Gurney to catch that movie after this one...everyone agreed...


The Expendables  






is an all-star cast of action-movie icons headline Sylvester Stallone's explosive action thriller about a group of hard-nosed mercenaries who are double-crossed during a treacherous mission. Approached by the shadowy Church (Bruce Willis) to overthrow tyrannical South American dictator General Gaza (David Zayas) and restore order to the troubled island country of Vilena, stoic soldier of fortune Barney Ross (Stallone) rounds up an unstoppable team that includes former SAS soldier and blade specialist Lee Christmas (Jason Statham); martial arts expert Yin (Jet Li); trigger-happy Hale Caesar (Terry Crews); and cerebral demolitions expert Toll Road (Randy Couture). Traveling to Vilena on a reconnaissance mission with his old pal Christmas, Barney meets their local contact, a cagey guerrilla fighter named Sandra (Giselle Itie), and together the trio scopes out the landscape.. It isn't long before Barney and Christmas have discovered that their actual target is not General Gaza but James Monroe (Eric Roberts), a former CIA operative who has recently gone rogue. Monroe won't be easy to get to either, because his hulking bodyguard Paine (Steve Austin) is a force to be reckoned with. When their mission is compromised, Barney and Christmas are forced to flee, leaving Sandra behind to face almost certain death. But Barney isn't the kind of soldier to abandon a mission, or a hostage, and now in order to get the job done he'll need the help of his old crew. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi


Scenes from the movie...

One of the cast, which is also a very famous man,
Jet Li
became me and Charmaine's hero because he looked really cool in that movie!At least,we noticed him more than any other...
That is how we discovered the value of an old man.. =P
Seeing the time after the movie, I was quite certain that we couldn't make it in time to watch Love In Disguise in Gurney...but I was hopeful...
Knowing the movie time on weekdays, I hoped that they have more screening on weekends...but it was already 3smth when we got to Gurney...the time was the same as weekdays, 1,3,5 and so on...too late for the 3pm movie and couldn't get 5pm tickets because we have to get home early...maybe the movie and I are just not fated...?lol
Zed and Chia Ying left earlier so Char and I went to Food & Tea for dinner...
vained around a lil bit at the restaurant...

Charmaine between my fingers XD
My apple and Char's Strawberry milkshake

Smoked Ham Focaccia

Nissin Noodle with Sliced Beef

After that went to Midlands thinking that we wanna get the movie's DVD but they don't have it too! =(
Charmaine's mum offered me a ride and we waited at the back of our school gate since it is so near to both Midlands and Gurney...
Charmaine and I did this...we"mengharumkan nama sekolah" 
After that we went home and lived happily ever after...Our mission to watch Love In Disguise has failed.
Although I faced many disappointments, I guess I made the best out of them with the help and indirect support of my friends...
Last of all,take care people...
*S2*

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Hello people...I hope everyone's okay...
To me,life is still that hard...I really feel like giving up too...
My medicine doses keep increasing... =(
Hospital is already like my second home...
many blood tests and those...
tiring you know?
Friends, forgive me if I was cold to you...sometimes I just wanna linger around the school,alone and thinking...
negative thoughts haunt me...a future that I will not be able to catch, they dance in front of my eyes...it shatters my heart whenever I see them passing by...these images are what I've always longed for...where's everyone is happy being together,enjoying each other's company...
I'm trying to keep away from everyone including people whom I love...so that it wouldn't hurt so bad if anything happens...maybe deep inside, I have already given up...I do not wanna believe in the positive,because when the good does not happen, I hurt very badly...
S2 said don't give up...
I wish I could be stronger...
There's a reason why I don't really write in the other blog anymore...

ARGH! I gotta stop being emo...sorryyy! so guys! have a great day aite! =)
anyways here's a link for my current favourite song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk4_7dDDGPk

depressing...lol bye!