Can't believe I am in a total shut down mode for Chinese New Year...

I became very very whatever.

I don't even bother to collect ang pows..

I think there are only problems when this family gathers around.

Yesterday on the way back from my maternal grandmother's house in Butterworth,

my bro got into a shouting match with aunt.

Finally he knows her habit of accusing everyone.

And I thought we're supposed to be peaceful and noisy in a happy way?

I too,just realized now that we don't have reunion dinners.

We eat our dinners at different times alone.

I was thinking hard as I clean the house today.

I found out that I am becoming more and more like my aunt.

The insecurities,paranoia,doubt,fear,

these comes from the way I was raised.

And I subconsciously imply all these onto other people.

Therefore I would like to apologize to you guys(who happens to be reading this)

for whatever hurt that I have brought upon y'all with my insecurities and such.

One thing that I am different from my aunt.

I take corrections and I don't hate people who corrects me.

So as people around me, DO correct me okay?

And I have determined to somehow leave this place to follow my dream.

I no longer wanna be aunt's puppet.

I will not live in her sexist ways where girls are bullshits and boys are brains.

Wanna prove her WRONG!

I watched the way she treats my niece and nephews.

She's obviously bias and abusive.

I'm sure all of you know that I have an extremely negative thinking.

This was how I got em from.

I still don't get the purpose of this post.

But I felt very much better after typing all these down.

Friends, help me through okay?

I want to be a good friend to everyone as you guys are to me.

Sometimes I'd rather lose a friend than to get hurt.

But this thinking is totally outta place because not everyone will hurt me like those who did.

Rei: gomen ne..

Do forgive me lahh later no one wants to join me in bug-fear.

and also to my few other important victims aka people that mattered in my life..

VJ: I'll stop self-torture and you-torture kay?

=D

Hong: There will be an end to my crying.

Credits to your shoulders.

=X

May: You have your own path to walk now.

I do not want to stop you from doing what you want just because I cant.

and some assurance maybe?

*I'm weird and random*

Rups: I'll always be here and you know it.

=D

Honestly, I think this is kinda lame,uncool or whatever you call it.

But it doesn't matter because I want to correct my mistakes.

So peeps!

Have a good rest and I love you guys loads!

*I love those named up there MORE!*
Some of you don't need to be mentioned.

=D

Loves.