I'm sorry.....

hey ppl! I discovered this song while emo-ing around youtube.... its a nice song.....

Tommy Reeve - I'm Sorry

I know I wasn't there
When you needed me the most
I know I didn't care
And was afraid to get so close
Tonight it's getting hard to fall asleep
'Cause it's becoming clear that I broke all into pieces
And I can not reverse it
So I've got one more thing to say

I'm sorry for your pain
I'm sorry for your tears
For all the little things I didn't know
I'm sorry for the words I didn't say
But what I still do
I'm still loving you

I know I let you wait
I've been away for far too long
But now I can relate
To everything that I did wrong
Stop breathing when I think I'm losing you
And there'll be no excuse so I'm on my knees
So listen please
Let me hold your hand once again

I'm sorry for your pain
I'm sorry for your tears
For all the little things I didn't know
I'm sorry for the words I didn't say
I'm sorry for the lies
I'm sorry for the fights
For not showing my love a dozen times
I'm sorry for the things that I've called mine
But what I still do
I'm still loving you

I'm sorry for your pain
I'm sorry for your tears
For all the little things I didn't know
I'm sorry for the words I didn't say
I'm sorry for the lies
I'm sorry for the fights
For not showing my love a dozen times
I'm sorry for the things that I've called mine
But what I still do
I'm still loving you

That's what I will always do

well..... its exactly what I wanna say....anyways heres the youtube link for the song.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1fj5PBREzw&videos=RjRb7i4Owo8

My 2009 Christmas Celebration

okay.....christmas is just another day....no mood lah this year...usually my cousin sister Esther will have a christmas buffet for friends and family at her

house here in SS17 but this year we didnt do it coz her wretched maid ran away two months ago.....anyways,yesterday my cousin and her hubby brought me,bro and aunt to Concorde Hotel for lunch.There were many dim sums and I took pics of them..

These are the first six dim sum dishes that we had. hahaha sorry I dunno what are they I just eat nia....XD

since I've got the receipt I think this is the Steam Fish Ball. They say its nice but I don really know the difference between this and the normal ones.

"Siew Mai"

sorry I am not sure what this is. =P

"Chicken Claws"

Glutinous Rice "Lor Mai Gai"

This is the shrimp chee cheong fun. They have char siew and scallop ones too.

"Xiao Long Bao"

We saw this Santa at the lobby after we left the restaurant. He's young and thin la this guy! LOL. Bro and sis asked me to go get those lil gifts tht he was giving. I got a box of color pencils =.=

Well thts all for lunch. We all came back to rest after tht and soon we were busy getting stuffs ready for our lil japanese family steamboat for dinner.

Quite alot of food such as Black Cod fish from Europe, another type of cod from America,enoki mushrooms,fishballs,and many more.

Not to forget the "shirako" which is also known as salmon sperm or intestines tht Im not sure. I didnt know until I swallowed.

Some pics below.

we had four bottles of wine including red,white and fruit wine. Dinner starts at 7 and ends at 10pm. Bro brought me to the 12.30am movie with his friend. We watched "the treasure hunter" and how it sucks. Many ppl walked outta the cinema. Movie ends at 2smth in the morning and we came back to rest.

We are going back to Penang tomorrow. I hate to go back as much as I hate to be here when I first came. Maybe because the mission of my heart has not been accomplished.

Actually there are a lot more pics tht Ive taken but I dont see the need to post them all.

Tht's all for today. Goodnight and I love you!

Just got back from Asia Cafe. Earlier on,bro brought me out at 11+pm to meet up with his chick and some friends who came to visit KL from their college in Nilai. There were two cars,one with me,bro,sarvin(bro's chick) and Alan (a black guy from another part of the world)and the other car was driven by Sarvin's female friend with three other black guys.(sorry I dunno where they came from so I have to describe them in colors. XD).okay anyways,I realized tht I've forgotten to bring my ID along when we were quite a distance away from home. I was kinda worried but after a while I decided to give up worrying.
Our first stop was KLCC. Nothing much there except couples and families enjoying the midnight view of the place. Bro and his chick were indulging themselves in the romantic atmosphere while I stared into blank space. After a while the guys decided to go to clubs and bistros in Bukit Bintang but my bro cant go coz he brought me.LOL.The plan is to leave them there and we'll go somewhere else. So we headed to Bukit Bintang.Unfortunately,my brother took a wrong turn and we ended up in a police block.I was like cursing myself for not bringing my ID. Tht cop asked my bro for his driving licence while a few others looked into our car. He asked my bro whether I'm a malaysian and my bro said yes and tht I'm his sister.They then ask for Alan's passport but he didnt bring.He has only got his student ID.Thankfully,they didnt ask for mine or I'll be doomed. We got away safely but its time to worry about the car tailing us coz Sarvin's friend is the only malaysian in the car with 3 other guys.
They were asked to off the engine and all of them got outta the car. One of the guys didnt bring any document with him at all. Her friend texted Sarvin to ask for help and support but the road is too busy for us but we turn back anyway. Bro was like cursing all the way. Then we got a call from Jiss saying tht theyre free to leave.
Plans to go to clubs and all has been cancelled and we went to Asia Cafe in SS15 instead. We got back at 3smth this morning. I love the adventures XD

People,I'm not the tht type of girl who goes to clubs and all. I dont usually go out till tht late anyway.Its just tht sometimes I need a break from almost everything.Well thts about it. owh ya! To one person,Im sorry for texting you at 12.24am! I just feel like doing so. HAVE A NICE DAY EVERYONE!!!

Happy Birthday Matt!

Hello! Today is another of my good friend's birthday! So... Happy Birthday Matt!

He's 15 this year and is currently in KL. A good friend really...Well at least good enough for me to load him with my problems....

Hahahaha.....

Saw him in Sunway yesterday......I was there and he was there too....

He can shuffle kay......go watch his shuffle videos in youtube lah....

kindly click on the links provided.....if u wanna watch lah lol....just for your information he is HCS chester....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnjfV2ovq48&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=krfACHcOzjs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVo-cf658lI&feature=related

there are alot more I think but I didn't watch liao.....

Anyways that's all.....once again...Happy Birthday Matt!!!!

Confessions Of A Murderer


Yes I did.I killed him.I saw him walking along with that girl. The girl whom he left me for. Anger bottled up in me and I followed them silently. Finally,he walked her home. I was still calm until I saw them kissing at the gate. The volcano in me errupted. I went to buy a knife. Later at night, I knocked on his door. He opened the door and invited me in. I held his hand and I told him that I've always loved him and the feeling has never changed since the day I told him that I love him about a year ago. He told me that he has already fallen for another and he didnt wanna hurt her. What about me?! There was a moment of awkward silence between us. I asked for one last hug before I leave. We hugged. I feel like we never want to let go. We were so close that I can hear his heartbeat. That was when I stabbed his heart. "Jess.....why.....?" and he collapsed. I held his body close to me. But his heart was no longer beating. "Because I love you....." I murmured.
I once told him that he was the reason for me to be strong. He was my definition of love, my reason to breathe.....My world shattered when he left. I cannot afford to lose him. I could no longer take the pain of seeing him and the other girl. So I've decided to make him mine forever.
I start writing this soon after I killed him. Remember the part where I said he was my reason to breathe?Now that he is no longer here, I will not fend for my life which is no longer worth living. When this is found, both me and my love is already somewhere else together. I will die the same way as he did and I will hold his hand through all. I"ll never let him walk alone. To our family, friends and loved ones,I'm sorry for being self-centered. Someday we will all meet again. Many people out there will say what a fool I've been....but dying is worth when we know that we die for and with the person whom we loved. I gotta stop writing now because I dont want him to wait for too long. Till we meet again.......



Hello friends! I'm here in KL for 3days already.Came on Tuesday. I wrote this story earlier today.Seriously....damn boring lah being here. Sets my mind thinking bad thoughts. How much I wanted to go back to Penang to take my literature paper this Tuesday. No choice. Aunt wants to be here. Sighh.... I have so much more to say but I guess I'm not gonna say it here or now? Certain words for certain people.......Maybe I'll blog again someday if I didnt rot sitting at home...

Went to school today to give some support to my dear mates.......sighh....does anyone know how I feel??? I knew I was gonna cry when I reached the school canteen and I saw Ngee May and Sharon waiting for me at our usual table..... I smiled at them and said I gotta go get some food...but I burst out when Grace gave me a massive hug....I went along with them when they were on their way up to the hall....but as I'm not takin the exam I was not allowed to enter the hall of course...they were asked to queue by classes; 5sc1,5sc2,5Maju(accounts) and 5Jaya(seni)..... I stood there with our form teachers and principal....and when its time to go in, I wished them all the best as they walk by....5Maju....my mates...I love them all....I'm missing them already....I am going back to the school....without them....friends walking by gave me the grave smile.....and after the last person went into the hall, I made my way to APD room to be with the form3s....we watched a movie but I dont know what the title was...I was sailing away with my feelings...

After recess I met Syu and Alyssa(two cheeky form2 juniors) and we went up to 4sci to find Aysha and the gang....then we played "Truth or Dare".....everyone chose Truth until Alyssa decided that we all have to take Dare for the next round....cant remember the order but Alyssa's dare was to kiss Samantha on the cheek....Syu's was to tell Raphaella "I love you"....Aysha's was to seduce one of the juniors sitting at the corridor(brilliant idea by none other than Melissa Tan =P)and mine was to do a sexy dance at the corridor under the watchful eyes of the form1 juniors and CCTVs.....Emelia took a video of our dares weihh! This Aysha asked me to do "sick" stuffs....mempersiasuikan nia really....
Then Miss Yeoh came and told us tht the principal was watching us so Syu,Ally and I went off and it was 12pm at that time which means my friends have finished their Sejarah paper 1. So I went to meet up with Ngee May and Sharon and hang around the school till 2.
After they left for BM paper 1, I stayed in school waiting for my sis-in-law to pick me up and she came at 3.57pm!

Ngee May and I planned to watch 2012 this friday after EST papers coz we dont have much time left....Friday is the last day of school and I'm goin to KL this tues or wed.Will only come back after Christmas I guess?And I wont see Ngee May tht often when I get back coz I have to go to school and the worst thing is both Gaya and Ngee May has got to go for National Service....what sort of next year am I gonna go through?? Cant imagine......

Well that's all for today......Friends who are taking SPM and STPM I hope for all the best and may God bless y'all always.....

hello ppl! hows eveyone and everything??I hope everyone's good and everything's fine.....first things first......I didnt have my eye operation on the 24th of september......I just had laser....it seems tht laser didnt help much and my right eye keeps bleeding so I went to University Malaya Specialist Centre (UMSC) to have the operation on the 13th of October..and bla bla bla...and when I got back to Penang the doctor told me that I wont be able to take SPM examination this year!!!!! sobz! so he gave a letter to the school which says tht Im unable to take exams. I was told to go back for another year of form5 in CPT...sighh.....everyone's moving on without me!! I've been really sad since my friends are all gonna leave the school.....although I have MC's but I still go to school these few weeks to spend time with my fellow classmates.....sigh..I started missing them already!to think that I have to spend another year in school without them!But we had a fun graduation day anyways.....

As for my health....I dont knw how should I put it.....smth is bound to happen if I still couldnt be bothered about my life...not like Im a lil more concerned anyway......what is life about??I know that mine is hopeless...meaningless...what else??I dont know......
And here..... I wrote another poem yesterday and credits to Matt and Tinee for Ideas tht they've contributed...title "sponsored" by Gaya....



Dark Reality

As blood runs black,
surroundings turn dark,
The beast howls on,
a long,lonely bark.
Skies turn grey,
We all die white
what silents during the day
rises and rule the nights,
by the beam of the moon
and blessings of the candlelight.
Dreams and fantasies turn to dust,
as men got carried away by love,lies and lust.
Time sweeps us by the feet,
as many struggles to make ends meet.
People and feelings turn numb and cold,
when you're broken,it grabs your soul.
It feel like no one would come to your aid,
when you look into the mirror
your reflection seems to fade
as darkness takes over all.

Usually I dont write these type of poems...but whatever lah...I follow my heart as I write...I dont think I have anythin else to say...Im gonna get lost now....but before I go....did anyone miss me??
=( take care